This Girl’s Friends Are Furious After Finding Out That The House They’re Renting Actually Belongs To Her

If you've been online any time in the past few years, you're definitely familiar with the "Am I The Asshole" subreddit, where people describe how they handled a situation and ask others if they were an asshole. Recently, a girl went viral for asking if she should have disclosed that she owns the home that she and her roommates live in — and that she's their landlord.

The post starts out with user OldOutlandishness252 describing the situation. She said, "So I (18, female) am very lucky in that I have two very hardworking parents who are successful and love me. We aren't mega-wealthy, but we are very comfortable as my parents are extremely smart financially. We own multiple houses as part of our real estate portfolio that we rent out for extra income."

"I recently started college, and as a present for working hard and getting into my dream school, my parents gifted me one of our houses that is near my college. I was going to inherit them all anyway, but I really appreciated their gesture. Where I live, real estate law is a little tricky, and we would have to pay significant taxes to officially transfer the house to me, so we decided to have my parents own it legally for now."

"The house is pretty big with four floors, and since it is near my school, I decided to look for roommates to start earning money early. So far, I have two roommates, who we'll call Sasha (18, female) and Bea (19, female), who also go to my school. We have been living together for a couple of months now, and we are all pretty good friends and very compatible roommates. This is where I might be the asshole. I didn't want to tell them that I owned the house as I thought it might create a weird dynamic between us, and I didn't want them to view me any differently."

"Sasha recently found the money my dad sent back [to me] while I was at class and told Bea, and they cornered me about it a few days ago. I told them everything, and they're mad at me for hiding this from them. They think I'm not only wrong for keeping it a secret but for making them pay rent in the first place."

"The house's mortgage has already been paid off, so the rent is entirely in my pocket. I responded by saying that they shouldn't have gone through my mail in the first place and that it was illegal, which I'll admit was kind of a low blow. We weren't friends when they moved in, and I wanted roommates so that I could earn extra cash, so I don't see why I should let them reside for free. AITA here?"

The original poster also clarified how her roommates had seen the money her dad had sent her: "We have a system where whoever is home brings all the mail in and puts it on the kitchen island. Bea brought the mail in, but Sasha opened my mail before I got home."

In response to those asking why her dad mailed her a check in the first place, she also added, "I do all of my business online, but my dad bought a fancy custom mailbox, and he's trying (and failing) to convince my mom that it wasn't a waste, so he likes to mail EVERYTHING now. Yes, it's ridiculous, and after this incident, we'll definitely be doing our finances online only."

And, she said, "I maintain that I'm not mega-rich. Yes, I acknowledge that I'm extremely privileged compared to most other Americans, but in my head, at least mega-rich are people like my boyfriend's family that own actual mansions and have yachts, or celebrities and billionaires with private jets, etc. Compared to most of my friends, I'm middle class."

Many of the commenters, like u/RumSoakedChap, felt that she'd done nothing wrong — and, in fact, that her roommates were at fault here for opening her mail. "Not the asshole. Their reactions justified your decision not to tell them about owning the house."

"Even if they agreed to pay rent, they would constantly be asking you as a 'friend' for extensions, delays, and just forgiveness on the rent. Stick to your guns."

User kol_al agreed and said, "Not the asshole. These girls are renters, period. It doesn't matter who collects the rent or where it goes; they are renters. Let them move out if they think they can get a better housing deal."

"I don't understand why you and your dad set things up that way, though. Why not deposit the money to an account you can access as you like? Better yet, get a property manager to handle all the maintenance issues and collect the rent."

User Fickle_Toe1724 was even more emphatic. They said, "Not the asshole. Your parents are well off. Sasha is a criminal. It is against federal law to open someone else's mail without permission. If you want her out, and she doesn't want to go, file a report. Sasha may find herself in prison. You need new housemates."

"Be upfront that your parents own the house, so they are getting a discounted rent. Sasha messed up, big time, by opening your mail. That is never ok. I would be calling my lawyer to ask what to do next. Where to report her. Take his advice, not Redditors'."

Others, like user inscrutablejane, thought she really needed to acknowledge her privilege. They said, "You're not the asshole for keeping your situation private, but multiple paid-off rental properties = wealthy. Most of your classmates' parents likely don't even own the home they live in, or at least not without a 30-year mortgage."

"Your one huge house will likely bring in more income than they'll make at their first professional jobs after graduation. You need to be aware of how that will affect your interpersonal relationships for your entire life."

"Not the asshole for renting out rooms and not giving random people free rides, but everything else about your post pretty much screams asshole," u/CarrottBacon said. "From the out-of-touch, 'our real estate portfolio doesn't mean I'm filthy rich' to lying to your roommates so you could pretend to slum it like the other college poor. You could just rent out rooms to people if you want instead of trying to pretend like everything gets split evenly three ways, only for 2/3 to come right back to you."

"If I was a struggling college student and found out the money I was working hard for and taking out loans for was going into my fake roommate's pocket, I'd be pretty pissed."

"I’d like to add that poor parents ALSO love their children very much. The original poster has got to work on tone," u/ntrrrmilf said.

And user ThorIsMighty said, "You're the asshole for having multiple houses, renting them out at a higher cost to people, and claiming that you're not wealthy. 🤢 Shit like this is why people hate the rich. I don't know about the rest; I didn't read it."

Other commenters thought she should have disclosed the situation beforehand. User QualityOfMercy said, "You’re not an asshole for charging them rent, but you're the asshole for lying to them. Living with a landlord is different than living with an equal roommate, and they deserve the chance to decide if they want to do that."

User ImpossibleResolve597 said, "You're the asshole. It's weird and shady to build your relationship with your roommates on lies. It makes you come off as untrustworthy and manipulative, and your roommates rightfully feel betrayed. You've been mindgaming them, and there's a big legal and power difference between a group of roommates and a live-in owner. It would have been much more responsible to be open with your situation from the start."

"Also, you are definitely wealthy. With respect, you need to consider how hard many people have it and get perspective on how fortunate you are. Your roommates were out of line for wanting not to pay any rent, but I think their shock and annoyance come more from your lie than from clear-headed thinking. They just found out someone they saw as an equal has been lining their pockets with their rent money."

Finally, u/NyxOrTreat said, "This isn’t really about paying rent; this is about being dishonest about the living situation. The original poster needs to be upfront that they own the house and the money the roommates pay goes to her—it affects the power dynamic in the household whether it’s disclosed or not, and deliberately withholding that information for whatever reason is a-hole behavior."

So, having read all this, I have to ask — what do you think? Should she have disclosed that she owned the home before the girls rented their rooms from her, or is that unnecessary? Let us know in the comments.

Comments have been edited for length and clarity.