How to fix your sex and relationship issues during menopause

If you've suddenly found yourself irritated by everything your partner does, from how they breathe to the way they tie their shoelaces, perimenopause could be to blame.

READ: What to do when menopause impacts your work, according to an HR expert

Perimenopause can impact every area of your relationship, from your sex drive to your desire to chat with your partner. It happened to Loose Women's Nadia Sawalha, who candidly told HELLO!: "My husband says there was a point where he did wonder if we were going to make it because I was just so irrational.

WATCH: Carol Vorderman spoke candidly about her menopause experience

"It was like premenstrual tension, but ten times worse. I'd fly into rage. It was a bit out of control," the 57-year-old continued.

MORE: Claudia Winkleman urged to go to the doctor amid this worrying symptom

READ: Davina McCall's health woes: 'I couldn't construct a sentence of any kind'

A Loose Women survey also revealed that 36% of people worried their partner would leave them as a result of their change in behaviour. Sound familiar? We hope it's reassuring that you're not alone if perimenopause has caused a change in your relationship.

To help you through a relationship that's straining under the weight of perimenopause, we called upon the expertise of relationship expert Anna Williamson for her advice on how to navigate your changing relationship during perimenopause – take notes!

How can perimenopause change relationships?

Going through perimenopause can be an extremely challenging time, not just for the person experiencing it, but also for the partner in the relationship.

While you might once have been a calm and carefree person, you could be experiencing a range of new emotions that can feel pretty rough and difficult to navigate. Anger, irritation, frustration, impatience, anxiety and low mood are all feelings associated with going through perimenopause.

And while it can be quite difficult for the person experiencing it, it can also be really difficult for the partner, not knowing how to react or support you. As a result of these changing feelings, based on fluctuating hormones - mostly a drop in oestrogen (the love hormone), arguments can ensue.

Tearfulness and anger, low libidos, emotional outbursts and a general wedge can form in what may otherwise be a perfectly healthy relationship.

How should I talk to my partner about menopause?

It is vitally important that you and your partner communicate effectively. It's important to remember that you are not at 'fault' per se. You cannot help the changes that are happening to you physically and emotionally.

You don't want to feel the way you do, but you can help the situation, the relationship and your partner to understand by explaining exactly how you are feeling and what you need.

It's worthwhile getting some literature to read together so you both fully understand what might be going on. Davina McCall's latest book, Menopausing, is a good shout.

Not into reading? Encourage your partner to look at the Instagrams of Davina McCall and Meg Mathews, who are very open about their experiences of menopause. This can help in trying to gain a wider picture of what it can be like experiencing the symptoms that come with such an emotional and physical life change.

Remember to acknowledge your partner's feelings.

It's really important to validate how your partner might be feeling if they are struggling to cope with the slightly challenging side effects that can come from someone experiencing menopause symptoms.

Working through any difficulties together is important to help keep the relationship healthy and positive, acknowledging how each other is feeling and validating those feelings will help to calm any difficult situations while finding a compromise so you're both feeling as though you're being supported.

How can I help my partner understand menopause?

In those moments of frustration and emotional meltdowns, it's usually unproductive to have a proper meaningful heart-to-heart conversation. It's advisable to wait until things are calm and in a good place where you can both have a rational conversation.

You might like to adopt a Q & A style approach – if either of you has questions, welcome them onto the table and together decipher what the answers might be and how they relate to you both individually and as a couple.

It may even be advantageous to take your partner with you to any medical appointments which address some of the issues faced as a result of going through the change.

Reassuring a partner is also important on both sides, remind each other that you are there for them and that you want to work together as a team to come through any difficulties faced.

Help! I feel disconnected from my partner – what do I do?

Due to the hormone drop of oestrogen, which happens in menopause, you can often feel a bit disconnected and lose interest in physical intimacy and affection which can be really hard on both people in the relationship.

It is extremely important to look at other ways to re-establish the connection and love you have for each other. Handholding, kissing, cuddling, shared activities, and verbally reaffirming your intentions and affection towards each other are key in making sure you don’t drift apart or build any resentment if being physical is proving challenging.

I've gone off sex – what shall I do?

Explaining how you're feeling and being honest about the fact it’s something that can’t be helped will help reassure your partner that you do still love and want them, and that you aren’t just rejecting them for no reason.

Look at other ways to be intimate and help sexual intimacy (such as lubrication and different sex positions) to help work out what feels doable (and enjoyable), and step up the other ways you show love (check out the five love languages) to help keep the bond between you both strong.

Anna Williamson just launched The Relationship Place, an online platform for anybody needing a little bit of help, support, and counsel when it comes to their love life, all available at the click of a button.

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