How to dress for a funeral and still feel comfortable (plus, what to avoid)
Asking yourself what to wear to a funeral is an outfit dilemma you never want to have. So when you find yourself in that exact position, it can feel overwhelming. Preparing to attend a funeral is an emotional experience whether it’s for a loved one, friend, mentor or co-worker who has passed away; thinking about what to wear or finding a funeral dress is usually the furthest thing from your mind. Although there's no rule book for what to wear to a funeral (or anything to do with grief and loss), this guide is designed to make it as simple and stress-free as possible.
You might not have time or want to buy something new for the day, especially if the funeral is unexpected, and wandering around the shops is not somewhere you want to be when you’re grieving. So, instead, your existing wardrobe might just be a good place to start. When sifting through your hangers, look for an outfit that is respectful to those who have passed while ensuring you still feel comfortable and yourself.
What is appropriate to wear to a funeral?
Most funerals have an all-black dress code, with many mourners opting for something smart and considered.
A funeral isn’t usually the place to wear an ultra-short mini dress, so hemlines tend to remain around or below the knee, and spaghetti straps are sometimes a no-go (although, that said, every funeral is different, and there are no hard and fast rules here). To keep things as comfortable as possible, it's probably best to opt for a sleeveless, cap sleeve or long-sleeved dress, or pair a shirt or turtle neck with a pair of black flared trousers. Alternatively, a classic black blazer will smarten up pretty much anything.
Things to consider
It’s always a good idea to bring some sort of jacket or coat with you in case you get cold. Plus, you can use pockets to keep tissues at the ready, without needing to dig through your handbag during the service.
Make sure to wear a pair of smart but comfortable shoes, as there might be some walking or standing involved throughout the day. For a traditional service try to avoid wearing fashion trainers or sandals – your best bet is a pair of round or pointed-toe heels or stylish ballet flats will work well. And if you know you might be walking on grass, best to leave the stilettos. Mary Janes, for example, are a great all-rounder that pair well with everything.
If it’s a very traditional funeral, hats or headbands could be a nice touch. Just make sure to keep the proportions to a smaller scale.
Things to avoid
While you should generally steer clear of bright colours and loud prints (unless otherwise requested, as it sometimes is), other things to avoid include very revealing or overly casual clothes, like ripped jeans, a sheer top, or pieces with inappropriate cut-out details. Again, every celebration of life is different, so these general guidelines may not always apply.
Accessories-wise, keep things minimal. You might feel weighed down by an oversized tote so opt for a clutch or smaller handbag instead.
And the same goes for jewellery – it's probably best to keep things classic and understated. Search your jewellery box for some timeless silver and gold pieces, such as a simple chain or pair of hoops.
One accessory that people often find quite comforting at funerals is sunglasses. Pack a pair in your bag or jacket pocket just in case. Grief can work in unexpected ways and if things suddenly get too much, or if you don’t want to feel watched, you can pull out your glasses and simply put them on. After all, most of us feel a little better behind a pair of trusty shades.
Do you always have to wear black at a funeral?
It’s custom to wear black to funerals, so that’s always a safe option to stick with. If, however, you are usually a flamboyant dresser and wouldn’t feel like yourself in an all-black look, you can dress in darker tones (like deep brown, navy or dark green) and avoid anything ‘over the top’ to avoid offending other mourners.
On occasion, some families might ask you to wear colour to celebrate the life of the deceased, which can make an otherwise morbid day and dress code a little more flexible. It's all about trying to read the room and wear something you'll feel comfortable in while respecting the occasion.
Black funeral dresses
If you’re still struggling with what to wear, we’ve rounded up a few classic black dresses – and a couple of jumpsuit options – for any last-minute buys:
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