Dining across the divide: ‘I think his opposition to child benefit came partly from a place where he doesn’t have any kids’

Jonjo, 30, Lincolnshire

Occupation PR consultant

Voting record Almost always Labour – voted Green in a local election once

Amuse bouche Has a weird talent: he can say pretty much any word backwards, instantly, names in particular. It’s quite a good party trick

Edward, 41, Lincolnshire

Occupation Business development manager at a delivery company

Voting record Normally votes on principle, though this year voted tactically. Would have liked to vote Green. Never, ever Tory

Amuse bouche Took his dad’s classic car out at the weekend, and within 20 minutes had to call the AA, having run out of fuel, coolant and everything else

For starters

Edward He seemed really nice, really cool. I met him at 7 o’clock and until they threw us out we were chatting nonstop. There was no pause, no letup.

Jonjo My first impression was that he was extremely well groomed. He’s quite tall and, initially, slightly standoffish, but only for about a minute. After that, he really warmed up.

Edward They had small plates – Asian, South American-inspired, and very nice.

Jonjo Prawns, croquettes, arancini, chargrilled broccoli, Pakistani flatbread. And we both had apple tart. He said: “I don’t drink beer, and red wine makes me go funny.” And I thought: “This could be quite a long evening.” But he had a cocktail instead.

The big beef

Edward We talked a lot about child benefit. I wouldn’t say I necessarily changed my mind – I still feel that if you’re going to have children, you’re essentially saying: “I can afford to provide for these children without any assistance.” So you shouldn’t expect any.

Related: Dining across the divide: ‘I’m not 100% sure I would be against corporal punishment in schools’

Jonjo I think his opposition to child benefit came partly from a place where he doesn’t have any kids. He said: “Why is nobody giving me anything for not having kids? That’s an environmentally friendly decision. I should be getting money off my council tax bill because I produce so little waste.” I said: “Childcare is prohibitively expensive; it prevents people from going to work, particularly mothers.” I think he got my point of view. He was really funny, actually; he made me laugh a lot. I think he’s a slightly contrarian character.

Edward I took his point that benefits in comparison with the cost of childcare are completely disproportionate. The £100 you might get as child benefit is insignificant if it costs you £800 a month to get childcare. What does £100 buy you, realistically? It’s not going to go very far, is it?

Jonjo We talked a lot about kids: he and his wife had come to the conclusion that they shouldn’t have kids because they weren’t willing to give up their lifestyle. Which I think is really sensible. He’s got a lot of mates who’ve got kids about the same age as mine, and he said they all make it look really hard.

Sharing plate

Edward It’s funny, I think he might have convinced me on leave and remain. One of the things I didn’t factor into Brexit when I voted leave was that we didn’t know how much it would affect us in terms of how much things cost. I didn’t foresee any issues with how it would affect my work, but my work has been massively affected by it, negatively.

Jonjo We agreed strongly on this: both of us would prefer to hear the voices of experts much more often. I absolutely loved that, at the start of the pandemic, you’d hear Chris Whitty on TV, leading the way on policy, instead of populists.

For afters

Jonjo He’s got a huge amount of compassion for people who are coming to this country in search of a better life. His view, which I think is probably quite common and I agree with, is that things have got to be pretty dire if you’re trying to get over here on a dinghy and maybe we should be a bit kinder.

Edward I’m quite pro-immigration, if it’s done correctly. And I got the impression he was not particularly pro, but if the system worked would consider it. It wasn’t a “no”, it was more a “yes, under the right circumstances”.

Takeaways

Edward If I’m honest, it felt as if I was having a conversation with a younger version of myself.

Jonjo It was a really nice way to spend an evening. I would definitely go for a coffee with him; really nice bloke.
Additional reporting: Kitty Drake

• Edward and Jonjo ate at Cosy Club in Stamford.

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