Dining across the divide: ‘It felt as if I was fighting for us to have something in common – she was living in a different world’
Jae, 25, Bristol
Occupation Organ donation project coordinator for the NHS
Voting record Hasn’t voted in a general election; says she’s “left-leaning”
Amuse bouche Jae once went on a day trip to Tenerife because it was cheaper than taking the train to London
Kayte, ‘early 50s’, Gloucestershire
Occupation Virtual customer services. Once worked as a glamour model
Voting record Conservative in the past, undecided about the coming election
Amuse bouche Kayte has been married four times and has 25 stepchildren
For starters
Kayte Service and food were excellent. I had a prawn and avocado starter and duck confit. We had gin and tonics.
Jae I checked out the menu before, as I haven’t had a lot of experience eating out. I had a spring vegetable risotto and a pistachio souffle, which was amazing.
Kayte She looked great. I was admiring her nails as she had just had them done.
Jae There was a free-spiritedness about her. She was very friendly initially.
The big beef
Kayte When people first came here, from parts of the British empire like Jamaica and India, it was a good thing. They integrated, they did jobs we didn’t want to do. Those who have come since then, they’re living four or five generations in the house, not working, getting benefits, getting houses, getting free NHS treatment.
Jae A lot of people immigrate because they want to build a life and add value. They should be welcomed. There are people who come because they weren’t safe where they were. The strength it must take to make that choice is huge. The majority of benefits and social housing still go to white British people.
Kayte It’s about not assimilating, inflicting ideas, religion, beliefs on us. When I went to France I learned a bit of French and was respectful. I don’t have a problem with people worshipping their own gods, but I do with people trying to turn this into a Muslim country. I’m not racist, I have dated Muslims, dated Jews. What I am is proud of who I am. Why can’t British people be proud of who they are?
Jae There may be a minority who maybe do not care for the way British society works, but a minority shouldn’t change how we treat the majority. I understand to a certain extent that, if you are going to move somewhere, you should accept their culture is different and that you may have to change a bit. However, I also think there’s room for growth and change in British culture. I don’t think we are perfect. To suggest that people should conform to how we’ve always done things – I don’t think it’s right.
For afters
Kayte Elements of the pro-Palestinian protests are aggressive, violent. We get it, they’re not happy, but it’s not going to stop the IDF doing what they need to do to make themselves safe.
Jae I don’t agree with rioting and violence, but you should be able to demonstrate your beliefs. When it’s nonviolent, the government or police shouldn’t be able to say you’re not allowed to do it.
Kayte People have a right to protest, but not to get aggressive, take over cities, stop people going out. I might go with Tommy Robinson when he’s marching; he’s one of the few people who stands up for British people’s rights.
Sharing plate
Jae It felt as if I was fighting for us to have something in common. She wasn’t personally rude to me – I never felt unsafe. But I knew I was sitting with someone who I could not relate to because it just felt as if she was living in a different world to me.
Kayte I hope she understood some of my opinions, and would think about some of the points I made and actually think: maybe she might be slightly right, and I might be slightly wrong.
Takeaways
Kayte Bless her, I admire her idealism. She is still quite young. She will probably change her views as she gets older. I pointed that out, without being patronising. I don’t think we’re going to be friends. But I would like to think we could go out for a drink some time, and a chat. She took my number, but I haven’t heard anything.
Jae I was ready for someone with more extreme views than me, but I thought they would be basing them in fact, whereas it felt like Kayte’s views are based on perception. I’m glad I got to do it. I am aware my world is quite insular in some ways. There’s always value in being able to interact with people who think differently, even if it’s only to have awareness that people with those viewpoints are there.
Additional reporting: Kitty Drake
• Jae and Kayte ate at Brasserie Blanc in Cheltenham
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