Bill Bailey: 'Our menagerie of pets run a lot of scams together'
Bill Bailey is one of the country's most beloved polymaths: a talented comic, author, TV presenter and Strictly winner – as well as an ardent conservationist and caretaker of a chaotic assortment of pets.
He tells us about his love for all-weather walks, endangered wildlife, the creatures that inspired his memoir My Animals and Other Animals, and what it's like to live with a high-kicking Malay fowl...
"You know how a certain tune or song can be redolent of a specific period in your life? For me, it’s the same with the animals I’ve met or lived with. Those encounters have become markers of my life.
"My memoir, My Animals and Other Animals, is structured around the pets with whom I’ve shared my life and animals in the wild. Luckily, my wife and son also love them, and we’ve always lived with an unusual assortment of creatures. Empathetic and understanding, pets become part of the family.
"The memory of an encounter with a wild animal, even if it is just a fleeting moment, can last a lifetime. It could be a simple thing, like a robin taking something from your hand, or something huge, like spotting the glossy skin of a whale. They are reminders of the wild world; without them, wild animals just seem like abstract things you see on a screen.
"I grew up in Somerset in a classic countryside village, cycling around its sleepy little lanes. A typical day out with my parents involved piling into a car and going to places like Slimbridge Wetland Centre or Rode Bird Gardens. My dad and grandfather taught me how to identify birds.
"As a conservationist, I’m worried about the future of many species. Most indigenous creatures I grew up with are now endangered: badgers, dormice, bats and otters. In the UK, even butterflies are becoming rare because of the changes to our landscape.
"Our home became a halfway house for all kinds of animals, but it’s less chaotic since we moved the hens and ducks to new homes. At our busiest, we kept bantams that sneaked into the house when it got colder. Mrs Speckles liked to perch on my head – of course, everyone joked that she mistook it for an egg.
"Malay fowls were once bred to fight, but we were told that King Creole, the fowl that we fostered, had had all the fight bred out of him. This was not the case. He would come flying out of the bushes to run at me and then do a double ninja kick. It was like coming home to Cato from the Pink Panther films.
"I do miss the ducks strutting around and pecking the dogs’ toes, even though they were messy. Watching their morning routine was a delight: a proper wash in the pond, some mad swimming, a thorough groom and then a little nap while standing on one leg, with their heads buried in their feathers.
"Our current menagerie run a lot of scams together. We have two young, boisterous husky Malinois-crosses, an old rescue dog named Louis and four cockatoos. When the birds nibble on a bit of bread, the dogs sit under them to catch the crumbs. And Louis taught the other dogs to hang around the dishwasher and lick whatever they can off the plates before the door closes.
"I’ve explored lots of the world such as Indonesia and Australia, but I love being in the UK countryside. I visited North Devon a lot during my childhood and often walk along its coastline. My wife’s parents lived in the Lake District, so our connection there goes way back. Paddleboarding on Lake Buttermere is so calming – some days, it’s like a mirror – and you glide along with just the sound of the blade going in the water.
"I recently hiked the Cape Wrath trail in Scotland with friends. It’s one of the toughest hikes to navigate with a map and compass, but the terrain is magical. You get a strange glow in the evenings where it hardly ever gets dark. We saw white-tailed and golden eagles, as well as deer everywhere.
"Walking is a year-round hobby. It’s good to see the landscape at different parts of the year. The Ridgeway is very beautiful with a dusting of snow. And our Boxing Day tradition is a great big walk. Whatever the weather, we’ll barrel outside to Richmond Park if we’re in London or Woolacombe if we’re in Devon and let the dogs run crazily in the sand.
"Over the past ten or 15 years, I’ve been sketching from nature, inspired by the detailed studies of insects and plants from the Victorian era. My work started out as pencil drawings, but now I create colour sketches of butterflies, bees and birds.
"In Master Crafters, I meet young artisans learning more about their heritage craft from a master. I was fascinated by mosaic making and blacksmithing – such a primitive pleasure.
"Before Strictly, I loved dancing, but in an undisciplined, joyous way. I’d always been very envious of people who can whirl around a dancefloor. I’d have considered just learning how to do that as an achievement, so I was delighted with how it turned out."
My Animals and Other Animals by Bill Bailey (Quercus, £25). Watch Bill Bailey’s Master Crafters on Sky Arts.
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