23 Surprising Things About Aging That Young People Never Think About Until They Reach 40
Recently, I wrote an article sharing pieces of wisdom from people over 40 about things that people in their 20s don't realize will affect them as they age. You all seemed to love it — so much so that we got even more advice from people over 40 in our very own BuzzFeed Community! So young people, listen up: here are some of the most fascinating and crucial things that are going to be good to keep in mind as we age.
1."It was relatively easy for me to make friends in my teens, 20s, and 30s, but especially after I got into my 50s it wasn’t as easy anymore."
2."If you’re going to drink alcohol, do it in moderation. It is actually preferable not to drink at all."
"Alcohol can do so much damage to your body, especially if you consistently consume it to excess. My younger brother was a pretty hardcore alcoholic starting in his mid 20s and he died because of it when he was 56.
And... definitely do not drive if you are too impaired from consuming alcohol or any other substance that interferes with your ability to operate a car safely... Either order an Uber or just stay at home until you are sober enough to drive."
3."Dental health is very, very important! I have a friend who is in her early 70s (like me) and she was a smoker for many years but quit about 10 years ago."
"However, all her years of smoking damaged her gums to the point that she had to have all of her teeth pulled and now has a full set of implants. Even with the implants she still has some painful and very expensive dental issues from time to time.
Brush your teeth at least two times a day, preferably with a good electric toothbrush, floss daily, and see your dentist at least two times a year.
And don’t smoke!"
4."[People don't think about] how older women become 'invisible' as they age."
"I don't mind growing older; I feel I can still be an artist, a writer, an activist, or anything I want. I just feel the media just want all women over 40 to be motherly figures and nothing else. I hate it so much!"
5."If you can have a safe, reasonable relationship [with your parents] try to find the way. Ask questions, let them talk, try to learn about their extended family, share moments. They go quickly in many cases."
"In some situations, you will be taking care of them (or of your significant other's parents) and that is a lot. Having a strong relationship before the shit hits the fan is helpful. (I know it just isn't [possible] for some people, in which case, give yourself grace).
Also, parents evolve too. They aren't done forming, just as you aren't. You may not like all of their stages, but try to stay keyed into the true version of them and keep common ground."
6."Even if all you can save is $20 a week, save it. Don't smoke cigarettes (nothing ages skin more), eat reasonably well, and walk everywhere you can."
"Don't buy stuff that you don't need — avoid the impulse buying, cut down on alcohol consumption, get outdoors and breathe, maintain healthy friendships (you'll need them), pay attention to your credit score, and get a good night's sleep.
I'm old and there are things that I wish I could do over, but I can't. You can if you start now."
7."That little ding you got in college from being stupid that you got patched up and never thought of again is gonna come back and kick your ass in your 40s."
"I broke a tooth in a drunken boxing match on my 21st birthday, got the tooth reset the next day, went on with life, and woke up the day after my 42nd birthday with a swollen jaw and the worst toothache of my life (as in, worse than my impacted wisdom teeth). Turns out the root of that tooth had been slowly dying and the rot finally reached a nerve.
You can forget the past all you want, but the past will not forget you."
8."For real, I had great vision until I was about 43. Then, one day, I realized that everything on my phone and every book was blurry. I was holding them way far away to try to read."
9."The reappearance of scars. Scars tend to fade with time. As we age, that reverses, and scars that had disappeared become more visible."
10."It's a cliché, but live your best life, whatever that means to you personally. There's a time to relax and do nothing, but make that the exception, not the norm."
"Get out of your house. Explore your surroundings — your neighborhood, your town, your state.
You don't have to get on a plane to travel; if you look, there are probably hundreds of things waiting to be experienced less than an hour from where you are right now. Go climb a mountain, even a small one. Go have a picnic somewhere. Go for a drive. Don't know where that road or trail goes? Go find out!
Take a walk in the woods. Live near the coast? Go look for beach glass or sea shells. No ocean near you? Rent a canoe and explore a local lake. Start a supper club with friends. Grab a local paper and see what free events are in your area, [like] a movie in a park or a concert or farmer's market. Take a class in something you know nothing about. Have a full life to look back on. Go make memories, because time is shorter than you think it is."
11."Depending on your job/ambitions/career ladder, it is weird when you get to the point where people younger than you are in higher positions than you."
"My current supervisor is younger than me by about 15 years. As long as he remains a decent person, I’m not too worried about it. I’m too exhausted to climb any more career ladders. I just want insurance and a steady paycheck. But I do agree that the moment I became older than my supervisors, it was a little strange."
12."Do yourself a favor and keep up with your doctor's appointments. You may find your bad cholesterol level is now running high. You could have a stroke or heart attack. By regularly going for your office visits you can keep on top of this and hopefully avoid any problems."
—Anonymous
13."When you're dating, keep in mind that it is so easy to love someone's good qualities. It's their shitty ones you have to live with. If you can't stand or feel unbearably uncomfortable with someone's worst qualities, move on. Even if you love the person, they are not the one for you."
—Anonymous
14."At 20, the size of your world is limited by time and money. As you enter your 40s, your employment should give you more money and time to spend it. In your 50s and early 60s, you have hit the sweet spot. Travel as much as you can to wherever you can."
"Do the strenuous/exotic trips while you’re younger, leave the more placid ones for when your body tires out.
As you exit your 60s, your world begins to shrink again. Physical ailments, doctors, and hospitals become the focus. The older you get, the smaller your world becomes, until you’re on a couch in a care home. I have traveled the world with joy, curiosity, and pleasure using this formula. Your sweet spot remains large if you take care of your health."
—Anonymous
15."You’d be shocked at how many people are having affairs. Even (or especially) in your own extended family. And if you ever get a look at how ugly some of the paramours are, all you’ll be able to say is, 'Why?!'"
—Anonymous
16."One day you are the old guy in the office. Even though you look and tend to act young, you are still the old person now. It's weird going from being the person told 'You're a baby, you have so much time on your side to live and experience life!' to being the person telling people they are young and have so much time to live and experience life."
—Anonymous
17."Just regular walking is the bedrock of health at any age. Fitness does NOT have to be a big production. So many people get gym memberships, expensive equipment, etc. only to use it, like, twice. Just get your ass outside and walk a while, maybe three times a week."
—Anonymous
18."It really pains me to say, but you might not EVER get over 'the one,' really. Even in a good marriage with kids, I’ve never felt such a connection other than with this woman. I still find myself longing sometimes."
—Anonymous
19."Your boss is not your friend. However much you may shoot the shit, however much sympathy they may voice for you... they will respond to their higher-ups and will can you in a heartbeat."
—Anonymous
20."You will be fired or laid off, probably multiple times. It’s usually not your fault; more to do with cost-cutting decisions far above you. If you want to stay in the corporate world, become a rock star in a niche that can’t be done without. Closer to the money, the better."
—Anonymous
21."Moisturize! But not just your face. Don’t forget your neck and upper chest."
—Anonymous
22."Something I didn't fully appreciate as a younger person was all the benefits of wearing sunscreen. I know it was all over the news, but I still didn't pay attention. Five cancerous growths later, I wish I could go back and apply it!"
—Anonymous
23.And finally: "How much faster time goes as you get older. My late dad always said life was like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. RIP Dad."
—Anonymous
If you're over 40 and feel like there's an element to aging that 20-somethings just do not see coming, tell us about it down in the comments! Or, if you want to write in but prefer to do so anonymously, you can check out this anonymous Google Form. Your answer may be included in an upcoming BuzzFeed article!
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
