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What can Tom Brady do during suspension? Not much with Patriots, it turns out

eric edholm

We know the NFL is restrictive with players who are suspended. They can’t be with their team, basically, at all.

Tom Brady can't talk at a New England Patriots press conference — or do much else — during his suspension (AP).
Tom Brady can’t talk at a New England Patriots press conference — or do much else — during his suspension (AP).

But we admit we didn’t quite know just how restrictive it is for a suspended player. Take Tom Brady. You’ve heard of him, right? And deflate-gate — by now you know that whole deal. Well, starting at precisely 4 p.m. ET Saturday, Sept. 3 (and we would not put it past the NFL having a garrison stationed, like, at Gillette Stadium at that time), Brady has to have everything he needs out of his locker until Monday, Oct. 3.

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And don’t even TRY to sneak into a luxury box at University of Phoenix Stadium to catch Jimmy Garoppolo’s first start, Tom. Here’s everything Brady can’t do:

Honestly, the thought of the Patriots putting a wig and fake mustache on Brady right now has us giddy. It would be so brilliant. Something like this maybe:

Can you still tell it's Tom Brady?
Can you still tell it’s Tom Brady?

Add some sunglasses, maybe throw on a Denver Broncos hat, AND THEY’LL NEVER CATCH ON. Chances of the Patriots and Brady trying to skirt at least one of these rules: high. Any why not? Their attitude should be “screw the league that made an Scarlet D (Deflator) out of him.”

Brady admitted on Tuesday that it will be “challenging” watching the Patriots play without him in September but that he’ll “find ways to preoccupy my mind.”

Yeah, we assume so.

But really, Brady does have a tough task: How to stay sharp while basically throwing against air for the next month-plus. Could he go run a high-school offense for a bit? Go hang out with Harbs in Ann Arbor? The options are limitless. He just won’t tell us what those options are.

“I have ideas of what I need to do based on all the practices we’ve had and the limited playing time I’ve had,” Brady said, not revealing his secret plan.

So as long as he avoids the team facility, doesn’t pick up the phone and goes gluten-free, Brady should be all good. It just might be a lonely month to start the season. What a weird deal the NFL is.

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Eric Edholm is a writer for Shutdown Corner on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at edholm@yahoo-inc.com or follow him on Twitter!