Vanessa Bryant turned 38 on Tuesday, her first birthday since the death of her husband Kobe Bryant and daughter Gianna in a tragic helicopter crash in late January.

It’s likely a day filled with both celebration and sadness for Vanessa. She is raising her three surviving children while mourning her daughter and husband, the person who probably made her feel like the most special woman in the world on her birthday.

Kobe still had one birthday surprise up his sleeve, though. On Instagram on Tuesday, Vanessa posted about a letter Kobe had written to her that she found on Monday and had yet to open. She wrote that decided to wait until her birthday to open it so she could get one final birthday letter from her husband.

Vanessa didn’t reveal what was in the letter, but she did say that it was “ironic” that Kobe had commissioned an artist to draw her with an angel holding her up.

Vanessa’s birthday comes just four days after Gianna’s birthday. Gianna would have been 14 on May 1, which Vanessa commemorated on social media with an emotional Instagram post.

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