Dear Coach Steve,

Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom.

I am in need of some advice on a matter of some delicacy.

My middle school child thinks that he can play professional sports- or, at minimum, play for college.  How do I tell him that is a near impossibility without crushing his spirits?

Sincerely,

Jennifer

Focus on attainable goals for your young athlete

Dear Jennifer,

As a father of two athletes, I try not to crush their dreams. Playing professional sports is a goal of theirs, but it is also a far-off goal. Let’s leave it there. Instead, focus on goals that are closer in front of your son. Encourage him to try out for his high school team and do what you can to help him achieve that goal. Play on teams, either travel or recreational. Start a fitness and strength-training regimen that he can follow each week. Get him into a routine in which he does something every day that helps him achieve that goal, such as a practice, a run or a strength training session. By the time he reaches his high school tryout, he should be full of the confidence he will need.

If the tryout still doesn’t work out, find a sport that doesn’t require him to try out. Being part of a team can be a terrific confidence builder during the middle and high school years, and even beyond. I played baseball in high school but didn’t make my college team, so I shifted to crew (rowing). I built lasting bonds with teammates working together in finding cadence in our oars on the water and in encouraging each other to endure strenuous workouts. Many high schools offer crew or other sports with a similar team-bonding objectives. Being part of a team may be what your needs and will stem his preoccupation with becoming a professional athlete.

As he plays sports in middle and high school, though, encourage him to pursue a backup plan for a career. Even the best athletes get injured and have to look elsewhere. Set up a meeting with his guidance counselor. When I did this with one of my sons, the guidance counselor took his ambition for sports and suggested he use it to carve a path into coaching or team administration as a fallback plan. High school and even college coaches are looking for team managers with knowledge of a sport, and they don’t like to turn down help. A volunteer position like this can lead to a career in sports in the long term, which may ultimately be what your son wants.

Sincerely,

Coach Steve

Steve Borelli, aka Coach Steve, has been an editor and writer with USA TODAY since 1999. He spent 10 years coaching his two sons’ youth teams. He and his wife, Colleen, are now loving life as sports parents for a high schooler and middle schooler.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: How to not crush your child's dreams of going pro