Ah, opening day, a fresh start, a chance for teams to put their best foot forward — and for the Miami Marlins, the team that traded away all its best players this offseason and became baseball’s punchline again, none of that fresh-start stuff happened.

The Marlins threw out the first pitch of the 2018 season to the Chicago Cubs and they totally Marlins’d it.

[Still not too late to join a Yahoo Fantasy Baseball league]

That first pitch, from Miami opening day starter Jose Urena was promptly deposited over the fence by Cubs leadoff man Ian Happ. That’s not what new CEO Derek Jeter wanted, guys. Neither was the result of the game. The Marlins put up a fight, but the Cubs won 8-4.

It may not be what this Cubs writer wanted either. He called it and promised to get wet if Happ — who had a monster spring training, mind you — led off the game with a homer:

He’s a man of his word, though. Because he’d done it by the third inning:

The real lesson here, folks, is this: Don’t let the 2018 Marlins decide your fate on any matter.

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Mike Oz is a writer at Yahoo Sports. Contact him at mikeozstew@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter! Follow @MikeOz

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