If you’re going to go claim you’re a famous athlete to try and buy expensive things using his name, you might want to actually look like the athlete in question.

A man who looks nothing like former NFL receiver Chad Johnson tried to buy more than $18,000 of Louis Vuitton merchandise in downtown Aspen by using Johnson’s identity and was arrested according to Jason Auslander of The Aspen Times. Mervin Cabe of Miami (Johnson is also from Miami, so they have that in common) told employees he was the former Cincinnati Bengals star. According to an affidavit filed in Pitkin County District Court, via The Aspen Times’ report, customers must have a “profile ID” at the Louis Vuitton store to make purchases. Cabe tried passing himself off as Johnson, although he gave store employees the wrong birthday.

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There’s another problem with Cabe trying to say he’s Johnson (Cabe is on the left, Johnson is on the right):

Even Johnson had to laugh at that one.

The Johnson impersonator actually was allowed to purchase the items, using an Apple Pay account on his phone after a credit card was denied, The Aspen Times said. When officers tracked down Cabe he “kept making excuses and repeating the same nonsensical story,” the affidavit said. He eventually told officers, “You’re going to have to take me … to jail. I’ve done something bad,” according to a sergeant on the scene. Cabe was charged with a pair of felonies for identity theft and unauthorized use of a financial transaction device, The Aspen Times reported.

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Frank Schwab is the editor of Shutdown Corner on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at shutdown.corner@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter!
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