Each December, I like to publish some of the best emails from my talented email contributors. I have had so many poignant and clever emails this year I proposed to my 47 bosses (that number is down from last year) for having a week’s worth of columns devoted to my literary contributors.

They nixed that idea. They also rejected my proposal for an eighth week of vacation.

James writes: I don’t hate Alabama like I do Florida and Georgia. In fact, I have liked them ever since they ran the wishbone.

And who couldn’t like the team coached by my favorite college coach of all time, Bear Bryant?

My response: I remember interviewing “The Bear” in 1977 after a game in Athens, Georgia, when I was a columnist at the Jackson (Mississippi) Clarion-Ledger.

Bryant was seated on a stool in the locker room when a reporter asked him what he said to his punt returner after he fumbled the ball over to Georgia.

“What would you say to your wife if you walked into the bathroom, and she was on the toilet?” Bryant answered. “I didn’t say anything.”

Steve writes: John, did you play football at LSU? If so, when?

My response: You are confusing your John Adams.

I was a sports columnist in Baton Rouge from 1979 to 1984. John Adams was an All-SEC linebacker whose last season at LSU was in 1979.

We often were mistaken for one another that year. He was bigger, stronger, faster, better looking, younger, more popular, and more blond. Other than that, we were practically twins.

Colorado Mark writes: Your article on the NED is guaranteed to get your readers going, hopefully not to Meridian, Miss., though. OK, I'll bite, but just this one, a river boat casino down on the Tennessee below the NED, just like in good ole Tunica Miss, complete with "gambling and showgirls" and a Harley Store. And why no Helton room?

My response: I admittedly overlooked UT’s greatest baseball player and an eventual inductee into Cooperstown. That’s why I requested suggestions from readers.

If I had never been to a riverboat casino, I would second your nomination. But my first riverboat casino ventured soured me on the idea.

I can still see the smoke hanging from the ceiling in the Bettendorf, Iowa, casino. I scanned the room for the “beautiful people” and came up empty.

Bill writes: I don't think anyone will ever knock Chris Fowler off my "most annoying announcer" throne, because of his lame defense of ESPN's barely concealed project to promote Charles Woodson as a defensive Heisman winner. Plus he has no otherwise redeeming social graces.

My response: Congrats, Bill, on holding a grudge for more than 25 years. My wife shares your sentiment over Fowler’s “trailer park trash” barb aimed at Tennessee fans who were outraged by Woodson beating out Peyton Manning for the Heisman Trophy.

I think you’re both too sensitive about the trailer-park line.

I was the trashiest of trailer park trash while serving in the Army with the Big Red One in Fort Riley, Kansas. I shared the trailer with two other draftees.

We never cut an inch of our patch of grass surrounding the trailer. Some of the weeds were as tall as the roof.

In the summer of 1972, strange bugs infested our carpet, which we subsequently ran through a car wash. That seemed to help.

That same summer, our air conditioner, which was built by the previous tenant, conked out. We didn’t have enough money to replace it, so we sweated our way through the summer with the help of floor fans.

The three of us were on the verge of eviction when we were discharged – honorably, I might add.

Wilma writes: I’ve lived in East Tennessee for 14 years and the only time I pay attention to UT football is when the coaches or fans behave badly. I did encourage my husband to apply for the job as coach, one doesn’t have to be particularly good at the job apparently and with the parting payoff it’s a really good gig.

But I digress. My point in this email is to tell you how much I have enjoyed your column over the years. It is the only thing I read in the sports pages. You just have to love a sports commentary that begins with “An Essay on Man.”

My response: Thanks, Wilma. But Vols Mark deserves the credit for quoting “An Essay on Man.” He also used the word “expatiate.” He’s one of my more cerebral contributors.

As I mentioned, I’m a product of the Louisiana public system. If I had used “expatiate” in a sentence, I would have been sent to the principal’s office immediately.

Don writes: John, is there anything that you can do to get the obituaries off the sports page?

My response: For the past year, I’ve collaborated with a group of deep thinkers on that very topic: “How to Prevent Death.”

I will let you know how that turns out.

Nelson writes: If Duke could have matched Tennessee's physicality, they would have been called the "Dukes of Hazzard" but they were not prepared to "Duke it out."

My response: Great work, Nelson.

The “Dukes of Hazzard” movie was filmed in my hometown. So, I appreciate an opportunity to mention that.

The consensus of my friends back home: “Jessica Simpson is a spoiled brat.”

She played Daisy Dukes in the movie. Shockingly, she wasn’t nominated for an Oscar.

Bishop McCool writes: I am writing to express my appreciation for the most excellent article you wrote concerning one of our dear church members and frequent caller to sports radio talk shows, Roger Davis.

Your article was so touching I took the liberty to use the entire article verbatim in my funeral message for Roger.

My response: I’m honored that you used my column in your eulogy. Roger made a huge positive impression on so many people.

Mike writes: John, as long as you've been around Tennessee sports, you didn't have a buyout clause in your NIL deal? You should know by now that the best way to get rich without really trying is the buyout clause:

"You accept this NIL deal as a player/coach/hangeron at the University of Tennessee. Should you Voluntarily leave the University of Tennessee to be a player/coach/hangeron at another school you agree to pay John Adams the same amount monthly/annualy/when you have an empty McDonald's bag in pertuity.

My response: Thanks for the advice. My attorney suggested something similar when I paid former UT soccer star Claire Rain $20 to endorse my column.

But since I always expect the best from people, I figured Claire would reimburse me the $20 when she left Tennessee for soccer power Florida State.

When I didn’t hear from her, I emailed her about the $20.

Claire’s response: The check’s in the mail.

Shemp writes: Blake’s columns seem to reflect that he is more and more pleased with himself.

My response: I know our company is pleased with Blake Toppmeyer. He’s Gannett’s Golden Boy.

When he was first hired, I was concerned he might stab me in the back to get my job. But now that he’s our SEC columnist, I’m not worried. In fact, I consider him a good friend.

Blake’s response: Mr. Adams and I have a good working relationship with our wildly popular SEC Unfiltered podcast. But it’s not as though we’re buddies.

If you have a question about me, I can be reached through email. You don’t have to go through Mr. Adams.

Marie writes: I read that the Tennessee soccer player (Claire Rain) who sponsored your column has transferred to Florida State. Will she continue to sponsor your column?

My response: No, that was just a one-year deal that was mutually beneficial. The column generated huge traffic on the web and served as a launching pad for Claire’s college career.

She wrote me a nice note before leaving. It read something like: “I’m forever grateful for your financial and emotional support during my time at Tennessee. I owe you for much of my success. Thanks so much.”

Claire’s response: John told me that by sponsoring his column, it would create many other financial opportunities for me. He said he thought he could help me get a gig with a car dealership. His exact words: “I’m sure they will give you a new car in return.”

ADAMS: My Christmas list includes a 2022 offense for Tennessee football

None of that ever happened. But I have no ill feelings toward him.

I’ve moved on.

John Adams is a senior columnist. He may be reached at 865-342-6284 or john.adams@knoxnews.com. Follow him at: twitter.com/johnadamskns.

This article originally appeared on Knoxville News Sentinel: Literary contributors honored for best emails of 2023