I recently attended the Florida State University Seminoles football game against Memphis in Doak Campbell Stadium or Woke Campbell Stadium as it was sarcastically dubbed by opposing smart alecks online.

Anyway, I figured it was about time to see what $20 million of Tallahassee taxpayer money was doing for the “improvements” to the stadium. The multi-million-dollar renovation project, set to be completed next year, is also being paid for with a mix of bonds, Florida State Boosters, season ticket sales, donations and more.

Basically, it means cushier, covered, high-dollar spots for Seminoles football fans who want and can afford tickets. (Right now, the yet-completed new seats look like stone steps in a Roman amphitheater.) If a Tallahassee taxpayer doesn’t give one whit about college football, tough noogies. The tax money deal is done. Fewer seats, too. Welcome to America, kid.

Now if the Seminoles football team, ranked No. 10 in the preseason, 1-3 at the time of this writing, will just start winning, it will make the $20 million tax bill-pill easier to swallow.

About the Gator in the room

Back to the noontime Memphis game earlier this month. The main reason I went to Woke Campbell is because my friend, a die-hard Noles fan, snagged box seats. I have gotten to an age where it is no longer fun to sit for hours on a metal bench in the 90-degree sun with a drunk behind me screaming loud obscenities at the players down on the field. I like air-conditioning, padded seats, tasty snacks, TV replays and an open bar. You know, civilization.

Now before you accuse me of being a fan of Gators football, because I am, let it be known I pull for FSU, and I root for the FAMU Rattlers because I live in Tallahassee. (Bragg Stadium got some Tallahassee tax money, too, lest we forget.) One day per year, I am for the Gators against the Seminoles.

In 1994, I was one of the few Gator fans left in the stands when the Noles rallied with 28 points in the fourth quarter to end the game in a 31 to 31 tie. (The Choke at Doak. Or is it The Choke at Woke now?) Sometimes it pays not to be a rude dude, and everyone left the game in stunned disbelief. I attended that Choke at Doak game with the same person who invited me to the Memphis showdown.

May I say the FSU-Memphis matchup was not as thrilling or memorable as the famed 1994 tie. The Memphis game quickly became downright dull.

The Noles receivers could not catch the ball, and each one had a bad case of dropsies. Evidently, the Seminoles coaching staff thought it was smart to run the ball up the middle, even though Memphis had that figured out from the get-go. The only good thing I have to say about the lifeless, sad spectacle is that FSU has one helluva field-goal kicker because he booted two beauts that day. The final score: FSU 12, Memphis 20.

Ugh.

Are you not entertained?

During the lumbering Memphis game, I had plenty of time to pay attention to what is being called The Fan Experience. Fireworks exploded in midair before kickoff. Renegade and a faux Chief Osceola did their flaming spear thing. The numerous digital Jumbotron screens were never without whiz-bang imagery.

A camera scanned the fans in the stands, attaching digitized hats, wigs and football helmets to each one on the big screens. Even though I couldn’t hear who they were in my box, groups of people were occasionally trotted out into one of the two end zones for some sort of recognition. Whataburger paraded a kid out for something. Music was piped in. The Marching Chiefs band members smartly wore shorts for the scorching day. There was always something going on.

Now if the Seminoles only had a football team.

In the early 1970s, my father, who also went to both universities and claimed dual fansmanship, used to take me to the occasional home game at the stadium in Tallahassee. In those pre-Bobby Bowden times, the FSU football squad mostly served as the sacrificial slaughter at bigger team’s homecomings.

The stands at Doak were sparse. If some fan wanted to launch an empty pint bottle of Ezra Brooks whiskey into the air at the end of the third quarter, it probably wouldn’t land on anyone watching the game. We’re talking few and far between. At the start of the second quarter, the gatekeepers left their posts, and anyone could wander in. I remember one Florida vs. FSU score in that era as being 3 to 9, with the Gators squeaking by with three field goals.

It was kind of like the Memphis game without the fan-cam and all the falderal.

No place to chill

I know no one heads to a football game to chill out but add in cell phone chats, texting and selfies and the so-called Fan Experience has reached sensory-overload territory. Constant stimulation is the name of the game. The days of just watching a live football game are over. Put on your digitized wig and act enthusiastic, or else.

Going out to the cinema is about the same. Arrive at the advertised time and sit through an onslaught of movie trivia questions, commercials, movie stars lauding filmmaking and umpteen tell-all previews that give away the plots. Whatever happened to sitting in air-conditioning and being alone with your own thoughts for a while?

At least movie-theater auditoriums are not tax subsidized and that’s probably why a large tub of popcorn costs $45.

I know, I know the FSU football fault lies in, pick one, the dreaded portal, the coaching staff, the discombobulated players and on and on. Whatever. I’ll leave that problem to sports experts and armchair quarterbacks. I just want my tax money back.

Mark Hinson is a former senior writer at The Tallahassee Democrat. He can be reached at mark.hinson59@gmail.com

This article originally appeared on Tallahassee Democrat: Let's see how it's going at Doak Campbell Stadium