Thanks to some comically bad defending, nervous incomplete touches and a complete lack of discipline, Brazil conceded five goals in the first half of its World Cup semifinal with Germany.

The Selecao's performance was so bad that it broke records: never before has a team at the World Cup been allowed to score five goals in such a short period of time:

Incredibly, four of Germany's goals were scored in six minutes — that's probably a record while playing FIFA, let alone during an actual World Cup game.

Germany also has equalled a scoring record that was set by Brazil in 1958:

In that semifinal, Brazil beat France 5-2 — the same score it managed against Sweden in the final. In that semi, however, the score was only 2-1 at halftime.

The Germans humiliated Saudi Arabia 8-0 at the 2002 World Cup, but even that game was only 4-0 at halftime.

Two additional goals in the second half second half marked the widest margin that Brazil have ever lost by. The Selecao haven't conceded so many since they lost 8-4 to Yugoslavia in 1934.

Die Nationalmannschaft were two goals short of the record World Cup scoreline of 9-0, achieved by Hungary against South Korea in 1954 and Yugoslavia over Zaire in 1974.

To rub more salt in the wound, the first-half whitewash helped Germany became the team with the most World Cup goals ever, bringing its tally to 221. The previous tally of 220 was held by ... Brazil.

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Ryan Bailey is a writer for Dirty Tackle on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him or follow him on Twitter! Follow @RyanJayBailey