15 Mistakes People Realized They Were Making In Their Relationship After A Break-Up Opened Their Eyes
It's difficult when you're amid a breakup to see what good came from the relationship or what lessons you learned from that experience. Ariana Grande wrote "Thank U, Next" for a reason! Whether you're suffering from heartbreak right now or just want a little reminder for the future, here is a Reddit thread full of people sharing lessons they learned from a relationship, and it's some valuable info:
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
1."You shouldn’t always have to beg for someone to give you attention."
2."People can say the sweetest things to you and absolutely mean them in the moment. But moments are fleeting."
3."People tell you who they are. You just have to be listening."
4."Never get complacent. Show them how much you care every chance you get."
5."An apology is not words but a change in behavior."
6."You can do everything right and still lose."
7."If there is a red flag, be cautiously optimistic. If there are 34,709 red flags, get the fuck out. I was in love with the thought of being in my first real relationship and ignored everything I should have paid attention to."
8."A relationship is like a plant: if you tend to it, water it, feed it, and give it sunlight, it will thrive. If you leave it in the corner, neglect it, and don't give it any of your time and effort, it will wither and die."
9."It is basically a sunk-cost fallacy in a relationship. Don’t be afraid to leave a relationship that isn’t working just because you have spent time in it. If it isn’t working, it isn’t working, and you will only waste more time. If you’re unhappy, allow yourself to find a situation where you can be happy. It is okay to give up on an unhealthy relationship."
10."Sometimes it just doesn't work, and that's fine. You don't have to hate each other, talk shit, or blow things out of proportion just because it's easier that way. Things don't work and that's ok."
11."Don’t stick around with someone who doesn’t make you happy, satisfy you, or meet your needs. It’s better to be alone than with someone who makes you feel alone. After my last relationship ended, I decided to stop looking for happiness in other people. I was single for six years and quit having casual sex. I worked on myself and learned to be happy on my own. Then, suddenly and unexpectedly, I met my current partner, and we got engaged recently. I wasn’t seeking her out; she just happened to come at the right time, and the six years I spent being single and finding my own happiness allowed me to become a more desirable and healthier partner. You won’t find it if you’re looking for it. Just worry about yourself, be open to spending time alone, and find peace."
12."If you live together, that person is your lover and your roommate. If your partner does most of the cooking, cleaning, and childcare, expect a lot of tension, unhappiness, and regret."
13."Patience can go a long way. A lot of folks break up nowadays because they're not patient. They want everything to be perfect right now. They're not willing to put in the effort to establish a healthy relationship."
14."Trust your gut."
"Honestly, a lot comes down to just having 'that feeling.' It’s like you know if you just know. Your intuition is always right. That doesn’t necessarily make the relationship last, though."
15.And finally, "Learn when to cut your losses. Relationships should be a rewarding two-way street. Anything less is not a relationship. You can put only so much 'work' into something before you have to let go."
Do you have any lessons you've learned from a relationship that you could share? If so, share it below in the comments!
