People Are Sharing Their Parents' Darkest Secrets, And I'm Starting To Think Maybe My Parents Have Some Skeletons In The Closet, Too
Recently, Reddit user animatorguy2 asked, "What is your parent(s) darkest secret?" and people showed up ready to pull all the skeletons out of their parents' closets. Here are 37 massive — and often disturbing — secrets people's parents kept from them, each other, or other family members.
NOTE: There are mentions of sexual assault, manslaughter, murder, and abuse ahead.
1."My mom's housekeeper got pregnant from my uncle when he was only 12 or 13. My mom fired her and ... paid a good amount of money for her to go away and never come back. The family never talks about it. Most of them don't know about it, but I have pretty good evidence that it happened. One of my cousins and I have been searching for this secret lost cousin for over a year now. No luck yet, but I am determined to find them and blow up this secret."
2."In 1962, my dad was on shore leave in Copenhagen, and while drunk, he hit and killed a stranger. He ditched the rental and ran back to the scene. When he got back, a blonde young lady was crying over the body. He tried to help her in any way that he could without divulging his crime. One year later, after many letters back and forth, my dad proposed. She accepted, and they were married in 1964. She came back to Canada, and they had two kids together: me and my older sister. In 1970, my uncle, while very drunk, told my mom what my dad had done. She took my sister, left me with a neighbor, and returned to Denmark while my dad was onboard a ship. She killed herself in 1996, two years after we finally were reunited. ... I wasn't aware I had an older sister until I was 11 when she was sent to live with us in Canada. That's another debacle. My sister and I have been estranged for 30 years."
3."My dad raped my mum the first night they met. They were left alone at a friend's house in the lounge room, after going out with some mutual friends. My mum believes he told them to leave them alone. She told him she was going to go home. He pulled her back, held her down, and forced himself on her. She was screaming, but no one came out. She lost her virginity that night without consent."
"He found out where she lived and asked her to marry him. As a traditional, barely educated Vietnamese woman, she believed that intimacy should only be with your husband, and she also felt shame (which, of course, she shouldn't have), so she reluctantly married him. You can see in the wedding photos that she was utterly devastated. Their relationship of well over two decades, from beginning to end, was abusive in every single way. I would witness sexual, physical, financial, and emotional abuse growing up. I loathe him. He also refused to be at my birth or be on my birth certificate, as he didn't want to be responsible for me legally. Only my mum is on my birth certificate. He was never a dad to me anyway — just an abusive husband to my mum, who appeared as a generous, loving man to society.
[How their relationship started] was kept a secret until I was 20 (I'm 31 now), when he decided to abuse her in a different way by suing her — because he believed at least half her assets were his. She had to write about their relationship in her affidavit from the beginning until then. He didn't win, by the way, because it was proven he had no right to anything. But my mum pretty much lost her life savings of over $200,000 in legal fees for this matter."
4."My dad owned his own business, and I worked for him. I routinely had to wait for my paycheck for a few days, as he said things were tight. They weren't tight; he was using business funds to pay for higher-end sex workers — like $1000+/hr, Eliot Spitzer grade. My mom eventually found out and divorced him. The business shuttered, and he moved six hours away. Between when I left his company in 2013 and his death in 2020, I probably only saw him a dozen times."
"Retrospection is odd. On one hand, he was a complete piece of shit for the cheating and the physical and emotional abuse. On the other hand, in spite of all that stuff, we had some sort of good relationship (I can't hold grudges) after the divorce. He settled into his preferred lifestyle, and I miss the hell out of him."
5."We were always told my uncle on my mom's side died of a heart attack. It turns out, in actuality, he was addicted to alcohol and would beat the shit out of my grandma and my mom, and one day, when he tried to rape her, she murdered him with a knife. I tried pulling this information out of my grandma, who refused to elaborate on how uncle died and said that some things she will just take to the grave."
6."My dad has an extremely pervasive sex addiction. He uses all of his funds for strippers, sex workers, sex clubs, etc. One time, he forged my stepmom's signature on a loan application so that he could get money for sex clubs. Another time, he cashed out his 401k so that he could pay for the membership fee to an exclusive sex club. He had porn on all the time when I was a child. I remember being exposed to it when I was like seven or eight. I am the only person in the family who knows about this. I am curious about taking a DNA test because I am almost positive I have a random half-sibling out here."
7."My dad ... covered up sex abuse that was going on in the police district he was in charge of. I remember hearing people talking about it when I was a teenager and hearing that his name was being mentioned in newspaper articles, but I was so oblivious to it."
"My mom is also very racist privately. I've done everything I can to make sure I don't turn out like them."
8."My father went to jail for embezzlement when I was a kid. He was gone for about two years — we had to move back up to Connecticut from North Carolina. They never say anything about it...even though I found letters written from jail in their things when I was a kid."
9."I found out after my mom's death that she assisted with a fatal home abortion. Her best friend's little sister (in her early teens) was raped by her uncle repeatedly, ending in a pregnancy. My mom, the best friend, and the sister put a piece of pipe in her vagina and then guided a wire hanger to her womb and just poked around till she started bleeding. ... She died of sepsis at school a couple of days later. After learning this about her, everything about her personality made sense. She was a haunted woman, and now I know why."
10."We're pretty sure that my mom slept with my dad's brother, and that's how my sister was born. We knew that my mom had dated my uncle before meeting my dad. But apparently, the time between was next to none. And they were serious. Only a couple of years ago did I learn that my mom has my UNCLE'S initials burned into the skin of her hand. All this, plus the fact that we had to do a lot of family background research to get native status, definitely leads us to believe that my sister is both my half-sister and my cousin. My mom would never admit to this. I'm six years younger, so I'm almost certainly my dad's son. But my sister is too afraid to find out."
11."My dad cheated on my mom, so she got back at him by sleeping with my uncle (dad's brother). They are divorced now, thankfully. At least I don't have to go to family reunions anymore."
12."Two things about my father: 1) He was involved with the mafia on a low level. He was an independent load broker in the trucking industry. He would get kickbacks from trucking companies and independent drivers to guarantee they would get loads on their trucks. Two FBI agents came and spoke to my mother about it in 1983, and I remember multiple times when he would have massive amounts of cash or occasionally had to make 'business' trips to Boston. He may have had deeper ties, but I can't say with any positivity. He was involved until 1988 or so when he was convicted and jailed for child molestation."
2) He was a closeted gay man and, in his later years, a child molester. He would force my mother to have sex with other men as long as they would have sex with him, and he was arrested, charged, and convicted of child molestation at least three times, but because it was the early to late '80s, the laws were still quite lax, and he avoided any real consequences."
13."My great-grandfather raped my mother when she was a teenager. We think it happened multiple times. She told her mom, who didn't believe her. We discovered the horrific details in private journals after my mom passed away. I never met my great-grandfather, as he had already passed by the time I was born. We don't know yet if my mom's sisters know about it. We've decided not to talk about it with other family members. My cousin, who was close to my mom, has hinted that she knew about it."
14."My parents stole my identity when I was a child, racked up like 40k in debt and never told me, and so when I hit 18, my credit score was fucked. ... The way the laws are set up, it's basically impossible to get help. I tried for like five years before I gave up on it."
15."[Their dark secret is] me. They severely abused me my whole life. They 'homeschooled' me and kept me locked away from the world. For a couple of years, they had me locked in a shed in the back lot. I met with my dad's sister just recently, and she had no idea it was that bad and was in complete denial. Somehow everyone was completely oblivious to the beatings and sadistic shit my parents were up to. If it weren't for my sister being there and remembering all of it, it would be pretty easy for everyone to gaslight me into believing it never happened. Luckily, they never beat my sister, but they were super mentally and emotionally abusive."
16."I was 29 years old when I found out that we were the second family. Growing up, we never met anyone from my Dad's side of the family. The story he told us was that he never had a good relationship with them, so he decided to cut them off. (They are first-generation immigrants — my siblings and I were born and raised in the country they immigrated to). When I was in college, I often got random Facebook messages from accounts with the same last name as me, claiming they were my step-siblings. I ignored them because I thought they were scammers. But there was one particular account that regularly messaged every Father's Day for years without fail and claimed that we were step-siblings."
"In 2021, the alleged step-sibling managed to become close to a mutual connection we had and decided to divulge the whole story to them in the hopes of getting my attention. It was shocking how much detail they had, such as our childhood nicknames and even our previous addresses in the early 2000s. I dug through the person's profile and looked at photos of their siblings. They were older than my siblings and me, but the resemblance was totally there. However, I completely ignored it, as I did not want to create a mess, given that my siblings and I now live in different parts of the world. I still had doubts about everything and held on to the idea that this could all be a coincidence.
2024 Father's Day comes around — this time, the step-sibling decided to break their silence and send us their childhood photos. It was an eerie feeling to see what seemed like happy family photos of someone else's family, where their dad was just a younger version of my dad.
It changed my whole view of my dad. He was a great dad to us, but I just can't shake thoughts like: 'How could he have left a whole other family?' (The kids were really young at the time). 'I am thankful that he chose to stay with us, but did he live his entire life with guilt? Did he ever miss them? Or maybe compare us to them?' Stuff like that.
I am still trying to muster up the courage to finally confront my parents about this. To this day, I think they still believe that my siblings and I have no idea about it."
17."My dad had a secret child before me who my aunt (his sister) adopted, so we grew up as cousins. I found out at 13 we were actually siblings. ... The family knew, as did old friends, but none of us kids or outsiders knew. Also, I was the only other child, so I grew up thinking I was an only child. Finding out I had a sibling was wild."
18."My mom kept a journal while she was going through cancer. Thank God I got my hands on it first because it would've ruined my sister at that young age. Her words: 'I love you both with all my heart, but just know there's always a different kind of love for your firstborn.' There was never any favoritism or golden child-like scenario; my sister and I got equal praise and punishment for our actions and were acknowledged for our own individual achievements in the same way. I think it's one of those things that just goes unsaid because you feel guilty about it. I'm certain that reading that has led me and my dad to go out of our way to help my sister with little random things that any adult should be capable of doing."
19."My father did not, in fact, spend 30 days in jail for reckless driving and racing. He spent 30 days in jail because he beat the shit out of the judge's son and his four buddies after they picked on their small town's disabled kid. I found out through one of his buddies. He took me aside and expressed how ashamed he was of it, and said that it had happened when he was young and he'd successfully kept it a secret from my mom and her side of the family."
"Fun side note: My dad's a pretty above-average poker player. He credits this to his time in jail. Not because he spent a ton of time gambling, but because on Sundays, they got hot dogs, and that's what they would use for chips. My dad really likes hot dogs, so he just got good at poker."
20."My dad, who raised me since birth, isn't my biological father, and he thinks I don't know. I'm pushing 40. I know. I started to suspect something was up by the age of like 12. I remember asking my mom if I was adopted in fifth grade. She just laughed and said 'of course not.'"
"My dad is a short, olive-skinned Portuguese man, and I'm lily white and tall. I was taller than him by the time I was in middle school. My mom broke down and told me when I was 18, and all I could muster was, 'Yeah, no shit, mom. Obviously. Don't worry about it.'
My two younger siblings obviously take after our dad. My brother always assumed I just take after mom, but even my sister figured it out years ago on her own.
My dad is sappy and probably thinks telling me would be heartbreaking, so I've never brought it up. At this point, it feels like it's staying secret to spare Dad's feelings as opposed to mine, which is fine. My dad has had a pretty rough life and has made a lot of mistakes, but I still love him and want to preserve his feelings."
21."My dad forced his first wife to have an abortion when she got pregnant after their first child. Then he did it again with my mom when she got pregnant after she had me. He told them both, 'If you have another kid, I won't support it,' and he told my mom, 'If you try to leave, I'll take her (me), and you'll never see her again.' So she got an abortion and stayed with the bastard until he died. Then she told me the story."
22."My mom told me about how when she had cancer, our dad had a coke problem and also 'banged' his underage second cousin while we were all on a family vacation together. He got arrested for statutory rape, but the charges were dropped after a while. My parents spent over 50k on lawyers and legal fees. The second cousin's boyfriend stalked my family for a while, too, in a literal white creeper van."
"Years later, my mom also confessed she cheated on my dad first earlier in their marriage, but my dad still doesn't know to this day. They're divorced now."
23."My mother doesn't know that I'm aware of this, but in her 20s, she had an abortion. She's a god-fearing, self-righteous conservative now and would never tell a soul, but she's more than happy to vote to take away other women's right to make the same choice. She got hers, fuck everyone else. Typical boomer mindset."
24."Before dying, my mom told me she was abused by her uncle, who I never met. She also told me that she always suspected that this uncle did the same with her mother because every time her uncle came to visit my grandma, she never wanted to be alone with him. This conversation happened when I told my mom that I was abused as a child, and she broke down into tears and told me her story. It's horrible how women in my family dealt with this in every generation."
25."She's divorcing my dad in a few months, and she only told me and my boyfriend. Not even my twin brother knows. She's packing everything up slowly, will be slowly cleaning out her stuff, and plans to leave at the end of the school year (she's a teacher)."
26."My grandfather died of AIDS in the 80's. I remember going to the funeral as a six-year-old. They didn't tell me until 2005. There was a ton of stigma around it."
27."I walked in on my mom cheating on my dad in what is now his bedroom. I stayed quiet so my sister could still have parents. I question every day whether it was the right call or not. I think I was nine at the time."
28."My mom cheated on my dad with her boss for years. She said they were in love until the day he (the boss) died. I don't know if my dad never knew, but she made me swear not to tell my brother because they already have a tenuous relationship. I cried for days after she told me — I was a daddy's girl through and through. She and my dad were married for 47 years when he passed; the last four were while he was slipping down the damnable slide of dementia, and she was holding him when he died. It still chokes me up when I happen to think about it."
29."Dad burned our house down for insurance when I was eight. I started wondering as an adult, but I asked him outright a few months ago, and he admitted it. We lost everything. He pulled me out of my bed in the middle of the night, and there was fire everywhere. He was a single dad (mum died when I was a toddler) and couldn't make repayments."
30."My dad stole meds from the hospital pharmacy he worked at. Then he'd give me and my friends Benadryl or Valium, so we'd be quiet and stop annoying him."
31."My mother was secretly/illegally adopted. We only found out in the last year or so (I'm 25 and was very close with my maternal grandfather). They were infertile but really wanted children; a local young girl fell pregnant and was going to give the baby up for adoption. My grandfather put his name down on the birth certificate even though he wasn't the father, so he and my grandmother could take the baby."
32."My mom was married to a man before my dad and divorced him due to abuse. She doesn't know, I know. I found out by googling my grandmother's name and found their wedding announcement in an archived copy of the local newspaper; then, I looked up the divorce records and found the reason why. She's talked about her job and where she lived during that time of her life, but she never mentioned her first husband. We don't often talk about serious stuff. I figure she'll tell me when she's ready."
33."I found out I have a full sister at the age of 44. She is seven years older than me. My parents were not married at the time and were forced to give her up for adoption by maternal grandparents."
34."My mom lost her job as a nurse because she was caught stealing meds (she's had a lifelong addiction) and told all her kids it was because of a medical condition. Her sister told us the real reason years ago; we have just never challenged our mom on it."
35."They didn't marry until 2002, 32 years after they met and had six kids. Then, after my dad died in 2004, my mom said, 'I only stayed to get his social security check. I didn't love him.'"
36."My mom and dad divorced less than a year after they got married because my dad was fucking around. They remarried a couple of months later. My brother and I didn't find out until after their 50th wedding anniversary when one of their old friends casually commented, 'I wonder which date they're going by.'"
37.And finally..."Me. I'm the dark secret. I was born illegitimately in 1962 and given up for adoption. I'm 62, my mother is 84, and she still won't acknowledge me. Nor will my siblings, the children she kept. My father died last year without ever acknowledging me. I'll be a bastard till the day I die."
What secret did your parents keep from you, each other, or the rest of the family? Let us know in the comments or via this anonymous form.
Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.
