People Sharing What Their Grandmothers Did For The First Time After Their Husbands Were Out Of The Picture
Last week, Betty, an 81-year-old woman from Georgia, went viral after casting her first ballot.
The reason why she never voted? Her husband didn't want her to. "I was so young and everything when we got married, I didn't ever think about it. And then when I got old, I still didn't think about it, [that] it would count," she told WSB-TV Atlanta.
He passed away last year, so this year, Betty headed out to the polls. She plans to continue doing so.
The story prompted many reactions. Some pointed out Betty is likely just one of many women whose husbands control their vote.
As a poll worker, I have had to deal with husbands and fathers who want to join their wives or daughters in the voting booth to “make sure they vote the right way “.
— Jonathan Nori (@JNori) August 8, 2024
And some also wrote their own stories about what their grandmothers, mothers, and women in their lives did after their husbands were out of the picture. From wearing red lipstick to traveling the world, here's what everyone shared:
1."When my grandpa died my grandma finally got her ears pierced. 😭"
2."my gma bought her first car, a loud and fast af red mustang 😂"
3."when my papaw died my memaw had her very first glass of wine the next day. 💙"
4."my aunt couldn't wear red lipstick 😒 then at 60 she went to sign her divorce papers wearing red lipstick 💞"
5."When my great grandpa died my great grandma was in her 40s and finally was able to go to college and work as a nurse bc he didn’t let her. I hate when people act like it’s good divorce rates were low."
6."My grandpa used to win the deeds to people’s houses gambling and when he passed my grandma gave the deeds back in the wives’ names so the men couldn’t gamble it away again."
7."My mother in law wasn’t allowed to buy patio furniture so she got 6 sets and put them all over her yard after her husband died. The resentment is real."
8."When my father passed away my mother wore makeup for the first time, got several tattoos, and lived an amazing life! She was only 15 years old when she was married. My father was 22!! 😭"
9."My gma left my grandfather at 67, finally. She lived with her 7 girls, 1 year each. She traveled when she wanted, spent time with all of us, her grands, wore what she wanted.. She was happy finally."
10."My grandpa died and my nana started wearing her natural hair😭"
11."When my grandfather died my grandma started buying desserts for herself at the grocery store for the very first time in her life"
12."My papaw didn’t want my mamaw wearing lipstick bc he thought it would attract men’s attention. When he died she wore lipstick all the time."
13."when my great grandfather died the first thing my great granny did was bake a strawberry cake. he was allergic to strawberries."
14."My grandfather was a horrible man. When he passed my grandma took the insurance money and went on vacation with her sis and my mom to Hawaii for two weeks. Paid off the house."
15."my grandma learned to read and write after my grandpa died. she died only being able to read and write at a 1st grade level 😭😭"
16."My grandma always wanted a tattoo, but my grandpa didn’t want her to do it. When my grandpa passed she got a big forearm tattoo. She was so proud of it and would roll up her sleeves to show it off. I love all the comments of grandmas finally doing the things they want to do."
17."My grandma wasn’t allowed to wear jeans. One of the first things she did was buy jeans. 👖"
18."My gma mourned for a few months. Then she called the hospital where she’d been volunteering for 30yrs and turned it into a paid position. He wouldn’t let her earn her own money."
And lastly:
19."Grandma in law always wore black until her husband died. Since then, full blown crazy color! She was in mourning for her marriage!"
As this person wrote, the stories of grandmas, aunts, and mothers being free from controlling men make readers both devastated by what they lost but happy for their freedom.
I was reminded that while I was fortunate to be born into a generation with more freedoms for women (though even these are increasingly at risk), those freedoms result from the hard-fought battles of the women who came before me — many of whom are still fighting for the autonomy they deserve.
But let me know what you think — was there anything you, your grandma, mother, aunt, or a woman in your life did for the first time after a controlling man was out of the picture? Let me know in the comments or on this anonymous form.
