People Who Once Were Poor Are Sharing Things That You Can't Possibly Understand Unless You've Experienced Poverty
There are some experiences that you can really only comprehend if you've lived them, and poverty is one of them. So Redditor u/PrestonRoad90 asked, "Those who grew up poor, what is something those who weren't poor don't understand about being poor?" Here's what people said.
1."You just get so tired. It feels like there's no resting because there's always the pervasive feeling you should be doing, making, or fixing something. Poverty means constant planning, whether for the next meal, for the next bill, for the next crisis."
2."How little activities like 'bring valentines for everyone in class' or 'let’s hold a bake sale' were stressful AF."
3."Constantly being on edge because you never know when the next disaster will strike and whether you'll be able to survive it."
4."The constant fear of running out of money creates this weird obsession over and guilt about spending money, even when you've got decent finances..."
"... I grew up poor, and my partner grew up upper-middle class. We have managed to carve out a pretty comfortable life, but I still have panic attacks about money and being able to afford essentials (food, rent, etc.). They are flabbergasted every time it happens. They're supportive but completely confused as to why I get so upset. My response is always 'money can run out.'"
5."The massive difference family relationships make for your life's success. I had friends just as intelligent as me that never made it out of these rough estates because their father was absent and their mother didn't give a shit about their education..."
"... Meanwhile, my parents were poor and could never help financially. But they read with me every night, would always answer every question, lobbied my teachers to create opportunities for me, pushed me to work harder, and researched scholarships for me. And taught me what hard work and loving relationships looked like."
6."Getting to stay home instead of school field trips because mom could never afford the ticket. I used to get excited about this until I realized why I couldn't go."
7."Your parents are not able to support you into adulthood. Hell, mine stopped being able to when I was 15. I can always tell someone didn't come from poverty when their suggestion to somebody facing financial troubles is 'talk to your parents.'"
8."Food guilt. I have food insecurity, but the guilt is just as much. Every bit of food I eat, when money starts to get low, or even when I visit people who have money, I feel like I am stealing from the rest of the household..."
"... I think, 'I'm hungry, but if I eat these two pieces of toast, that's two pieces less for my partner/parent/sibling/friend who might need it more.' As the oldest child, foregoing things so others could have them is a part of my DNA."
9."The fact that being poor is very expensive..."
"For example, if you cannot afford to pay a speeding ticket, late fees will accrue, making it even harder to pay off. If you need money right now to buy food and pay rent, payday loan shops can help you, but with exorbitant interest rates, you'll end up paying back way more than you borrowed. If you have a toothache but can't afford to see the dentist, it can grow into something worse and more costly."
10."This is maybe more applicable to poor people in urban centres, but you don't get any privacy, and everything's always loud..."
"Your apartment's probably too small for the number of people living there, and you don't have a private outdoor space. You can probably also hear your neighbors, and they can hear you. You do your laundry in the laundromat. You either walk or take public transit as transportation, and you're going to be that kid who loses their shit on the subway at some point."
11."One thing people who weren't poor don't get is how you always had to think about money on every little thing. Even simple stuff like snacks or going to the movies wasn't just a fun idea. It was, 'Can we afford it?' or 'Do we have enough to cover everything else?'...
"...I remember wearing hand-me-downs that didn't fit quite right and pretending not to care when kids teased me. Or when the power would get cut off, and we would sit around with candles. It wasn't just about not having stuff; it was the constant worry and knowing that one little thing going wrong could mess everything up. That's the part people don't see."
12."The anxiety you feel at the cash register. Knowing there's nothing else you can put back, that you genuinely need every item and it's the cheapest possible price, but somehow it's still too expensive. That feeling never goes away."
13."How difficult it is to crawl out of generational poverty."
14."That beans on toast is an acceptable meal for any time of day. Maybe for even all three meals."
15."When you are starving and there's nothing to eat, the only option left is to try and sleep because you hope that when you wake up, you won't feel so hungry."
16."Food insecurity. I'm 60, and even now, having no debt and being in a good spot, I still hoard food and keep any bit of leftovers. I remember going hungry and/or only having a small portion to eat. There were no seconds."
17."How you sort of rack up illnesses and health issues from the constant stress and lack of medical care. When I got out of poverty, I played catchup on all these things for a couple of years just to get myself back to baseline normal..."
"...I was getting steroid shots to stop the daily migraines, appointments to a neurologist to make sure the migraines weren’t a sign of something more serious, checking up on those stomach ulcers I got in college and didn’t do anything about because tuition was due. And all the doctors would ask why I had no medical history and would be surprised when I told them this was the first time I could afford to see them."
18."Getting bullied for being poor. School was so bad; I had old clothes, no socks, and no way to always have proper hygiene. I was a walking target. There were lots of days I went home crying."
Do you have something to add? What is a feeling or an experience you can only understand if you have been in poverty? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.
