Kaitlyn Bristowe says posing for an unedited swimwear campaign triggered her body dysmorphia: 'I didn't want to eat for the rest of the day'
The 38-year-old "Bachelor" star says she's worked on her body dysmorphia "for so long," but still experiences "moments of insecurity."
Kaitlyn Bristowe is getting candid about having a "moment of insecurity" while modelling for an unedited swimwear campaign for Canadian brand LONDRE. On Thursday, "The Bachelor" alum opened up about her lifelong struggle with body dysmorphia and her journey towards self-acceptance during the latest episode of her podcast, "Off The Vine."
In a conversation with "intuitive coach" Courtney Thomas, Bristowe revealed that modelling for the swimwear campaign was a big step in confronting her insecurities. "I've had severe dysmorphia my whole life with my body and thinking it looks a certain way, or believing what it looks like makes it not worthy. I worked on that for so long," she shared.
Despite her progress, the 38-year-old admitted that seeing an unedited photo of herself triggered feelings of self-doubt. "I didn't want to eat for the rest of the day. I caught myself in that moment. ... I've worked so hard to love my body and get to where it is. But I stopped myself, and was like, that's not a healthy way of thinking."
The Leduc, Alta.-born TV personality noted the impact unrealistic beauty standards on social media had on her self-perception. "I was scrolling before, and of course, I see a bathing suit shoot on somebody else and they've got all the perfect lighting, and they got the body glimmer and the body makeup, and they've got the cutest suits ... and I was in a garage in bright, natural light. I wasn't even allowed to put body makeup on because they're really promoting loving your body and loving the skin you're in," she recalled.
Ultimately, Bristowe chose to lean into LONDRE's vision and challenge societal beauty standards. "What a cool opportunity for me. I get to support a small Canadian business who talks about confidence and doesn't edit which is something I would've loved to see growing up instead of these edited photos that we saw in magazines. I get to show the way that I want somebody to show up on Instagram," she explained.
Ultimately, the star said she was able to "turn the beat around" and enjoy the moment. "Instead of marinating in that misery and self-doubt and comparison, I was able to quickly come out of it and be like, 'No, this is such a cool opportunity,'" she added.
Bristowe's candid podcast discussion wasn't the only place she shared her thoughts on her unedited photoshoot experience. Last month, she took to Instagram to post behind-the-scenes footage from the shoot, commending LONDRE for promoting authenticity.
"Your body is not what people will remember you for. Some lighting we have cellulite. Some lighting we don't. Some angles we love. Some we don't. We just don't see that (for the most part) on the 'gram," she penned.
"Wearing a swimsuit can feel so intimidating, for so many reasons, right? I felt so many emotions doing this shoot. No edits. No fancy beaches, no body shimmer or body makeup that would help me feel more 'flawless.' [LONDRE] is helping us step into our confidence, and seeing what's real," Bristowe wrote. "I was so intimidated by this shoot, but that's because we are used to seeing perfection on Instagram."
Bristowe has always been candid about her body image struggles. In March, she discussed her body dysmorphia on Instagram Stories, sharing her apprehension about the unedited campaign photos. "I'm nervous. ... But I need to celebrate the small wins," she wrote.
She reflected on her past unhealthy habits, writing, "Five years ago I would have thought I needed to eat air and grilled chicken to prep. Right now in this moment I'm thinking, 'Ugh, I love snacks. Eating these snacks aren't going to change my body overnight and ... working out and not feeding my body will only make me miserable.'"
Despite her ongoing struggles, Bristowe noted the importance of self-love and personal growth. 'I'm gonna be hard on myself no matter what, but I want to love on this body that I keep strong and healthy. I still struggle, but recognizing growth is a win. Body dysmorphia is real."
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