Former NHLer's widow Emily Cave Boit says she felt like she was leaving her late husband behind when she moved: 'That hurt will always hurt'

Emily Cave Boit is exploring grief in her new podcast. The 31-year-old author and widow of former NHL player Colby Cave spoke candidly about the struggles of dating after loss on the first episode of her new podcast, "You Are More with Emily Cave Boit."

Cave Boit, who remarried earlier this year, spoke to fellow widow Jennifer Osler-Bolton and her husband Michael Bolton about "moving forward" after the death of a spouse. Here's everything we learned from the episode.

Cave Boit felt judged about dating again

Cave Boit's life was upended by the sudden death of her 25-year-old husband in April 2020. While working through her grief, Cave Boit decided to try dating again. In 2023 she announced her engagement to Colin Boit, a California-based investment banker. The pair tied the knot in June 2024 in a romantic Malibu wedding that featured many of Cave's friends and former teammates in attendance.

Although she's been public about her grief, there have been some unexpected hurdles to finding happiness again. Cave Boit said one of the things that has "shocked" her most during her grief was "people's judgements and people's opinions" on her choosing to "move forward" with her life.

According to Cave Boit, she has had to remind herself that she is "so much more than" the criticism she received when going public with her new relationship.

'Bittersweet' feeling on moving forward

Cave Boit said one of the best pieces of advice she received after Cave's death was to wait before cleaning out his belongings — something that she struggled with when she relocated to California to be with her new husband.

"I remember heading to the airport, and I remember seeing his urn and I just felt — It was such a weird feeling of knowing like, OK, I'm moving to the States now and all of that," she said. "And I wasn't bringing his urn, we haven't decided what to do...[I was] leaving that all in Edmonton. But I felt like I was leaving him behind. And I just remember it and sobbing at the airport."

Cave Boit said it was "bittersweet" to begin her new chapter in the United States because there are still things "that hurt and will always hurt."

Honouring both of her relationships

Cave Boit gained an online following as the spouse of a former NHL player. Following Cave's death, Cave Boit said she had to learn how to balance acknowledging both of her relationships online.

"In the beginning when I started dating Colin, it's like you post one photo of Colin, OK you've got to post one photo of Colby... it's trying to balance it out because you get judged either way," she said. "If you're posting about Colby, you're talking too much about Colby...."

Her parents helped her tackle the logistics of grief

Cave Boit acknowledged that her loss impacted friends and family members in its own way. The "For Colb" author said her parents grief journey was delayed because they were helping her navigate the early days of loss.

"They watched their daughter go through something so horrific," she said. "I feel like my dad being the one trying to figure out the business side, cook meals, all of that. He didn't really get time to grieve right away because he was being a dad.... I think when someone marries or is dating a widow, their family and friend grief need to be acknowledged, too."

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