Eva Mendes Gets Emotional as She Shares the One Pattern That's Hard for Her to Break as a Mom: 'Not Fair to the Kids'

The actress shares her two daughters, Esmeralda Amada and Amada Lee, with longtime partner Ryan Gosling

Eva Mendes is revealing the one thing she does as a mom that she isn't a huge fan of.

Appearing on the Parenting & You podcast, the actress spoke with Dr. Shefali about a pattern that's been hard for her to break as a mother. Mendes, 50, is mom to daughters Esmeralda Amada, 10, and Amada Lee, 8, whom she shares with longtime partner Ryan Gosling, 43.

"I think one of the hardest patterns for me is yelling. Because I don’t yell when they need me, quote on quote, or I’ve never yelled, ‘Shut up!’ or anything," Mendes shares.

"In my mind, it’s not like a mean yell. But it doesn’t matter, I yell. And it’s this yelling that I find so cultural but it’s like I’m having a really hard time getting through and not yelling. The rushing and the yelling for me.”

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Related: Eva Mendes Reveals She Asks Herself 'Who Am I' as Her Daughters Have Gotten Older: 'I Felt Lost'

Asked if she could explain what she meant by the cultural side of yelling, Mendes says she feels like it originated with her mother.

“My mother was definitely, again, so loving and so amazing but it was definitely like raising us by fear. That whole thing. That I really talk about being conscious of," Mendes explains.

"And I hope I’m not going to look back in 20 years and go, ‘Oh, shoot. I did that.’ Because I really don’t want to raise by fear. That’s the one…I’m getting emotional over [this] because it’s so not fair to the kids," she continues, tearing up.

"A lot of times when people meet my girls and they say, ‘Oh, they’re so respectful and they’re so sweet.’ I’m like, ‘Oh, thank you,’ but I’m like, Oh no, I hope that they’re just mimicking what they see and I hope that I’m not unknowingly putting some kind of pressure on them through fear like I was raised in that way, through threats and fears.”

Appearing on The Drew Barrymore Show in September, Mendes spoke with Drew Barrymore about how their feelings have shifted since becoming mothers.

"I felt a little lost when I had kids, in the sense where I was like, I don't really know how to do that job and be other people. What was it for you, may I ask?" Barrymore asked Mendes.

"Yeah, I felt, I actually didn't feel lost. I felt very clear but then I felt lost, if that makes sense," Mendes shared. "Then when it was like the cliche of, ok well, who am I now after the kids can survive on their own?"

"I mean, they're only 8 and 10, but you know what I mean? They don't need me every second, it's a little different. But I love talking to my girls about anything so I feel very fulfilled," added Mendes.

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