Couple Was Engaged for 6 Years Before Woman’s Fiancé Dropped Wedding 'Bombshell': 'I Feel I’ve Been Tricked'

"He wants to keep living together but he doesn’t really believe in the formality of a wedding," the woman wrote to Slate's money advice column about her fiancé's revelation

After a six-year engagement, a woman was ready to start wedding planning — but then her fiancé "dropped a bombshell."

The woman detailed the situation in a letter to Slate's money advice column Pay Dirt, beginning by explaining the circumstances of their unusually long engagement. "We thought we would get married sooner but between moving to another state and establishing ourselves in our fields, it has taken us several years to be financially stable," she wrote.

She continued her letter: "Recently, I mentioned to him that I wanted to start planning the wedding and he dropped a bombshell saying that he wants to keep living together but he doesn’t really believe in the formality of a wedding and that the government shouldn’t intervene in our lives, it’s an antiquated sexist custom, it’s a needless expense, etc."

Related: Woman Considering Annulment One Week After Wedding Due to Husband's Behavior: 'I'm Being Told to Get Over It'

Since then, the couple has had several discussions on the subject, but they've reached an impasse. "He won't budge," the woman wrote of her fiancé, while admitting that she recognizes the practicality of his reasoning for not having a wedding.

"For example, he says we could take a trip to France rather than spend money on dinner and a dress I’ll only wear once, but I love the idea of a wedding," she added.

It seems her sister sees the situation quite differently, however. "My sister says he isn’t serious about me if he’s not willing to make this commitment, and I see her point," the woman explained. "She says plenty of other men would give me the wedding instead of dashing my dreams."

The woman is now feeling uncertain about how to move forward. "I’ve invested six years of my life with him and I don’t know if I want to break up with him over this single issue, but I am increasingly snapping at him and fighting," she concluded her plea for advice. "I don’t know what to do. I feel I’ve been tricked and now I’m trapped."

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In a reply, Slate's columnist challenged the woman to consider whether she wants a wedding or a marriage. "I think these are two different things, and I wonder in today’s social media-forward world if some people don’t get them confused," the columnist wrote. "By the same token, you don’t mention the 'L' word in your email. Are you both still in love with each other or do you each have some imaginary lifestyle you’re clinging to?"

They pointed out that while the woman's fiancé "clearly doesn’t believe in spending thousands of dollars on a wedding that will last a few hours," many couples do manage to pull off no-fuss, "town hall" weddings with very little expense.

"But reading between the lines, the money seems to be the least of it. It sounds like he objects to marriage itself," the columnist continued. "Have you probed that 'government intervention/antiquated sexist custom' comment a little further?"

Related: Couple’s Wedding Is Canceled After Bride Is Caught Having an Affair with Groom's Uncle

They went on to caution the woman about some of the realities of not being legally married. "If you’re not married, and something happens to one of you, then the other isn’t going to be able to make key decisions about healthcare or assets," the columnist wrote. "You’ll need paperwork to cover your bases on these things — more 'government intervention.' Is he willing to do that to protect you and what you’re building together?"

The columnist finished their response by telling the woman they "can’t tell if you’ve 'wasted' six years with this man" or if the couple's respective visions of the future have simply "drifted apart" over time.

"Whether you’re married or just plan to live together forever, you and he have very different ideas about how to communicate your deepest feelings about each other and the future," they concluded. "And that doesn’t play well over the long haul."