Charli XCX Inspired Me to Cancel My Keratin Appointment
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I’ve been getting my hair blown out since I was five years old. As an Italian girl from New Jersey, this shouldn’t shock anyone. But this summer—brat summer, famously—I canceled my impending keratin appointment in pursuit of a new and more honest relationship with my naturally-curly hair. And I have Charli XCX to thank for that.
I was nearly bald for the first two and half years of my life, but when my hair finally grew in, it was extremely dark and curly. For a while, my mom and I had a ritual of waking up around 5am before she had to leave for work so she could meticulously sculpt my curls around her fingers into neat, Shirley Temple-like spirals. As she worked, I kept myself busy by rearranging her lipsticks or puffing her Estée Lauder White Linen powder on my arms and legs.
This process took about 90 minutes, and as pictured above, the end result was definitely a look… but clearly not one for every day. So, after a few years, we began to turn to the pros for a round brush blowout before big events like picture day, weddings, and birthday parties.
I remember the first time I got a blowout. Sitting firmly on my booster seat, my mom’s hairstylist spun the salon chair around so I could look in the mirror at her work. The reflection staring back at me was definitely me, but with hair my five year old brain couldn’t compute. It was shiny and silky smooth.
Like I’d seen my idol Cindy Crawford do, I could run my fingers through my hair with ease. It’s my first memory of feeling beautiful… probably because at that point in my life, I hadn't been exposed to forms of beauty that existed beyond my homogeneous hometown.
My routine blowouts continued through high school. Eventually, I learned how to perfect the look myself from reading magazines like Allure and studying my stylist’s technique. It was all about concentrated heat and tension and also the right brush—round, boar-bristle.
In college, most of my classmates had naturally straight or wavy hair, so to be more like them, I continued to wake up every morning at the crack of dawn to blow out my curls. I’m not sure that even my closest friends knew that my hair texture was not, in fact, straight and smooth. Then, in 2010, I read about a new temporary straightening method—a keratin treatment—and booked one for my next school break.
With keratin-treated hair, I could achieve a “perfect” blowout in 20 minutes. I vowed to never stop getting keratin, and kept that promise for over a decade, even as a move to New York City exposed me to the most beautiful people on earth with gorgeous hair across the full texture spectrum. I loved how they embraced their curls, I just didn’t feel like I could ever look that good with mine.
Fast forward to earlier this year. At 33, it’s very rare that I have the time or energy to take even 20 minutes to blowout my hair. To style my hair, I typically slick it back into a bun.
Then, in May, I watched the music video for “360” by Charli XCX. Shortly after, she released her sixth studio album, Brat—and we all know the cultural phenomenon that ensued. I was transfixed by it all—sonically, lyrically, and aesthetically. Charli—who had historically mostly worn her hair straight—was now everywhere in my feed, her dark curls tumbling around her. I loved how cool and confident she looked. What I loved even more was that her hair looked really close to my own.
“I think it took me a really long time to actually embrace my curls,” Charli told Allure last month. “In the last few years, I've kind of just, I don't know, grown into it. I began to feel more confident wearing it in this natural way… I honestly just get out of the shower and let it airdry.”
With a keratin appointment on the horizon in three weeks, I was curious about what my own hair would look like if I let it dry naturally. So, I hopped in the shower. I applied a leave-in conditioner and let my hair airdry. While remnants of my previous keratin treatment and highlights remained, it was still pretty curly—and it didn’t look half bad. I began to test my look with friends and colleagues who affirmed my new style. At the same time, I was starting to love it myself. So I canceled my keratin appointment.
A few months later, I attended the New York City show of the SWEAT Tour headlined by Chari XCX and Troye Sivan. I wore my hair curly. Lorde was one of the surprise guests and the collective, almost primal scream from the arena to her verse in remix of the song “Girl, so confusing” was like nothing I’d ever heard before. When she and Charli sang, “Some people say we’re alike, they say we’ve got the same hair…,” I cathartically screamed alongside them.
In an interview with Apple Music, Charli described the essence of Brat as “tapping into that part of yourself that only you can access… it’s kind of ignoring all the things that make you, you know, palatable or easily comparable to others that may allow you to fit into any kind of premeditated mold…”
So really, it isn’t about hair at all. But at the same time, it is. For me, it’s about feeling confident in who I am and recognizing a part of myself—a part that I had spent my whole life trying to hide—as something beautiful. Maybe down the line I’ll want a keratin treatment again, and that’s cool. But right now, I’m feeling really good as I am.
Read more about Charli XCX:
This Is the Charli XCX Beauty Interview You've Been Waiting For
Betcha Didn't Know Charli XCX's Hair Was This Naturally Curly
Watch Cindy Crawford's ten-minute makeup routine:
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Originally Appeared on Allure
