Anna Kendrick trauma dumped on strangers after abusive relationship. That's not uncommon

Anna Kendrick hasn't shied way from discussing her alleged emotionally and psychologically abusive past relationship and how it has affected her. She told The Independent in a recent interview that she couldn't help but trauma dump in the wake of it.

"It’s a literal true story that, in the aftermath of this really traumatic relationship, my plumber came over and asked how I’d been, and I just told him everything," Kendrick told the outlet. "I just couldn’t spend another second breathing dishonest air."

While airing out your trauma is a necessary part of the therapeutic process, it doesn't always work out how you'd like. The audience matters as does the setting, and sometimes as a result problems can arise.

Kendrick's recollection is relatable for those who have lived through similarly difficult life circumstances.

"You might see someone at a party … and all of a sudden you're talking about an awful date you had, and how it reminded you of when you were molested as a child," Carla Manly, a clinical psychologist and author of “Joy from Fear," previously told USA TODAY. Manly says an issue arises when serious information is "shared without permission, in an inappropriate place and time, and to someone who may not have had the capacity to take in this information."

Unlike venting, trauma dumping is done in an "unsolicited, unprepared way, where a person dumps traumatic thoughts, feelings, energy onto an unsuspecting person," whether it be a close friend or a stranger.

"We often have so much frustration, irritation and anger pent up inside us, and we simply need a place to offload it," Manly explained.

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What is trauma dumping?

Looking back on the troubled relationship, "it does feel like something was stolen (from me)," Kendrick previously told USA TODAY. "Getting trapped in that loop of trying to make (the relationship) better, and figure out a way to fix it, meant that I was also sacrificing more and more of myself."

Many people engage in trauma dumping without realizing it. Judith Orloff, a psychiatrist and author of "The Empath Survival Guide," previously told USA TODAY these victims of trauma use it as a coping mechanism.

"It's usually unconscious anxiety that they're venting and just start dumping onto another person as a way to release the energy and frustration, and getting that out can seemingly help a victim of some sort of trauma," she says.

There's a fine line between venting and dumping. Experts say the latter is "toxic" and "damaging," because trauma dumping doesn't include or respect the consent of the listener and often seems one-sided.

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'We can be supportive but we can't take on others' trauma'

Everyone should feel comfortable talking to friends or even strangers, when it makes sense about their frustrations, but some conversations are meant for a therapist.

With the help of therapy, Kendrick was eventually able to acknowledge the abuse for what it was. Although she kept the details vague, a "huge turning point" was when she found "black-and-white evidence" that her partner was gaslighting her. She also "sprinkled all the gory details into conversations with different friends."

Others find it helpful to air out feelings on TikTok in a lighthearted way.

"Finding ways to cope with traumatic events is unique to each individual," Loree Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, previously told USA TODAY. "Sharing one's experience and feeling seen can be incredibly healing during troubling times. There is nothing inherently wrong with finding laughter or lightheartedness when navigating a painful event, as long as it doesn't involve avoiding one's feelings."

Still, "not everyone has the bandwidth to take in others' traumas, because their own lives are filled with stress too," Manly explains.

According to Orloff, most people on the receiving end of trauma dumping will feel anxious, stressed, helpless and even depressed after the conversation.

"People may feel better after trauma dumping, but the person they dump it onto feels horrible," she says. "They usually start to feel drained and it's just too much serious, unexpected information at once."

Experts say it's OK to create boundaries with those who continuously trauma dump. It's important to emphasize that while you still care for them, you also need to protect your own peace.

Contributing: Jenna Ryu and Patrick Ryan

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Anna Kendrick, trauma dumping and alleged abuse