13 Rude Habits You’re Definitely Guilty Of (But Don't Realize It)
Most of us have no problem pointing out someone else’s rude behavior. It's easy to shake our heads at somebody talking during a movie or closing a door in our faces. But how often are we accidentally guilty of behaviors that others might interpret as rude?
“While everyone has their own take on what’s rude, many people agree that certain behaviors indicate a lack of consideration for others,” says Manami Yamamoto, LMFT, founder and director of Blue Humming Therapy. Many of these behaviors can be unintentional, like accidental etiquette blunders or tipping mistakes.
While experts agree that things like cultural backgrounds, socioeconomic status, neurodiversity, and other personal experiences influence what we find to be rude, there are at least a few behaviors that are almost universally rude. And despite our best efforts, we can all be just as guilty of such behaviors as anyone else. Here are some of the most common rude habits, according to experts.
Dismissing Service Workers
We all have bad days, but that’s never an excuse to be impatient with your barista, talk down to your grocery store cashier or wholly ignore the person bussing your table.
“Treating [service workers] like they’re invisible is a big no-no,” says Fatemah Farahan, LMFT and owner of Farahan Therapy and Associates. “This behavior comes across as arrogant and entitled and is almost universally rude.”
Using Your Phone in Social Settings
Patricia Eyring, etiquette expert and president and owner of The Protocol School of Washington, says checking or using your phone constantly can come off as rude and dismissive. This is especially true with older people, who prioritize focusing on others during social interactions.
However, she adds that many neurodiverse people use technology as a way to manage sensory overload, anxiety or difficult social interactions — so context matters.
Being Chronically Late
Everyone’s late sometimes, but it’s important not to let it become a chronically bad habit (or to let your “time blindness” get the best of you). Eyring says some individuals view punctuality as a sign of respect. So while flat tires, sick kids and traffic are all inevitable, the key is to at least call or send a message explaining why you’re late and how long you’ll be.
Monopolizing the Conversation
Whether it’s using the entire dinner to talk about your problems or constantly trying to shift attention towards yourself at every opportunity, experts agree this behavior is just plain rude. While you may not have intentionally interrupted your friend’s story to tell a different story it reminded you of, it can be hurtful to others, so be mindful of your impulses here.
Cutting a Line
If you’ve ever parked in a spot you know someone else was waiting on, or jumped the queue and pretended you didn’t even see the angry person behind you, you are guilty of exhibiting rude behavior.
“Cutting in line is almost universally considered rude because it signals that you think your time is more valuable than everyone else’s,” says Farahan.
Not Respecting Personal Space
While the amount of space one needs can vary from person to person and culture to culture, Farahan says getting in someone’s face or bumping into them without at least acknowledging it is universally rude. So next time you’re in line somewhere or in a crowded space, respect other people’s personal space (or at least apologize if you bump into them).
Being Loud in Public Spaces
Ask anyone around you and they’re all likely to agree that they don’t want to hear someone’s work conference call or FaceTime while at a coffee shop, or hear anyone’s loud conversation at the movies. Yet you’ve probably heard all of these on several occasions and likely been the perpetrator at least once. Experts agree this behavior is rude, disruptive and inconsiderate.
Never Saying “Thank You”
Completely dropping the ball on showing appreciation after someone got you a gift, helped you move or offered you some other kindness is not just rude, it can damage your relationships.
“Not expressing gratitude can make others feel unappreciated,” says Yamamoto. Rather than hurt your loved one’s feelings, send (or at least schedule) a thank you message right away so as not to inadvertently forget later on.
Interrupting
We’ve all had those moments when we just can’t help but blurt something out, Yamamoto says. But this rude habit interrupts the other person’s train of thought and indicates you may be uninterested in or dismissive of what they’re saying. It’s important to give everyone time and space to talk without fear of being cut off.
Ignoring Greetings and Farewells
Jokes about Irish goodbyes aside, leaving a party or other occasion without at least saying goodbye to the host is bad manners, and walking into a room without greeting a single person can be taken as equally rude.
“It’s like saying, ‘You’re not important enough for me to acknowledge,’” says Farahan.
RELATED: The Best Hostess Gifts to Give
Overly Casual Greetings
Whether you’re at a work function or meeting someone’s parents for the first time, it’s a good idea to match your greeting based on the occasion.
“In the past, greeting someone with a firm handshake or formal introduction was the norm. Nowadays, casual greetings like ‘Hey’ or ignoring traditional courtesies can be perceived as disrespectful by older generations who value formality,” says Yamamoto.
Underdressing for Formal Occasions
While older generations grew up viewing formal dress as synonymous with professionalism and respect, Eyring says younger generations tend to reject these formalities. That said, while it’s probably still okay to be casual on our grocery runs or school pick up, it’s definitely rude if we don’t at least attempt to put a little more effort when going to a wedding, interview or other more formal occasion.
Asking Invasive Questions
Yamamoto says that asking people things like their age, marital status or whether or not they have children is common in some cultures upon meeting someone, but is viewed as rude in many others. Despite living in a world of oversharing, it’s always better to err on the side of caution and wait for others to open up to you first.
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