Yahoo Finance How to rebuild your confidence after leaving a toxic workplace
A toxic workplace goes far beyond a clash with a colleague or a minor conflict, and it can be a deeply damaging experience.
Most of us have clashed with a boss or colleague, or breathed a sigh of relief after leaving a job that drained us. But some workplace woes go far beyond minor conflicts or a loss of passion, and actually border on dangerously toxic.
Toxic workplace cultures harbour much more sinister characteristics, from abuse to exclusion, and the impacts on those who work in them can be deeply damaging.
Also by Emma Edwards:
As the conversation on toxic workplaces evolves, I had an HR consultant weigh in on how to find career confidence again after leaving a toxic job.
Identify and accept the experience for what it was
The first step to moving on from a toxic workplace is to accept and validate your own experience. HR consultant and director of Boldside Shelley Johnson shared her three red flags for toxicity at work.
Unchecked ego and self-centred behaviours
Exclusion and disregard for, or silencing of, diverse perspectives
Hostility and passive-aggression
Other measures include MIT Sloane’s ‘Toxic Five’ – five attributes of a toxic workplace: disrespectful, non-inclusive, unethical, cutthroat, and abusive.
Trusting your own judgement that something wasn’t right is really important here. It’s easy to dismiss your feelings or tell yourself it was somehow your own fault.
Try not to rush the process
We often think leaving a toxic environment is a cure-all for its impacts but, unfortunately, it can take time to get back to your previous levels of capacity and confidence.
“When you think about the definition of toxic, it’s poison,” Johnson said.
If we don’t have an “antidote to the poison”, we’re likely to feel its effects. Leaving a workplace often isn’t a strong enough antidote, meaning we need to work on actively healing ourselves.
“You might feel fatigued, anxious or have a loss of sense of self-confidence,” Johnson said.
We need to give ourselves grace to deal with “the hangover”, as Johnson describes it, to build up the antidote to the toxicity. “It’s about self-compassion, self-trust, and building back our confidence.”
“Practise the art of self-compassion. How can you come to terms with the fact that it was the environment, not me?” Johnson said.
Giving yourself time and space to do this is really important. Johnson said it could take as long as six months or more to recover if your confidence had been seriously compromised.
Find “contrary evidence” to rebuild your mindset
In order to rebuild our confidence and sense of self at work, we need to seek new evidence to counteract the experiences we’ve become used to.
“We need to put ourselves in environments where we can see ourselves shine, and do the things we’ve lost confidence in,” Johnson said.
Whether that’s with friends or family, in creative pursuits or in a new job, actively seeking ways to prove to yourself that you can do your thing – and do it well – can be transformative for moving on. You may also find value in exploring mentoring or coaching to help you regain clarity over your work.
“Surround yourself with mentors and coaches who can encourage you and uplift you,” she said.
When it comes to finding your feet again in a new role, it’s never a good idea to badmouth a previous job to a new employer. But there may still be an opportunity to have an honest conversation about how you work best, what types of feedback you benefit from, and anything you’re trying to work on in your role. A trusted boss or manager may be able to support you to find your flow again.
Seek mental health support if required
The impact of more severe workplace experiences may be best handled by a mental health professional. If you’re finding that you’re struggling to cope or having persistent problems with your confidence of self-esteem in your new job, seeking formal mental health support via a mental healthcare plan with your GP - or via a workplace EAP, if you have one - may be necessary.
Looking for a new role? Here’s how to spot toxic cultures from the job ad.
Follow Yahoo Finance on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram and Twitter, and subscribe to our free daily newsletter.
